Cade

My response is "Why should we care?" The poem reads like a diary entry; a stream of consciousness, babbling, self-centered. Perfect for a journal, not so great for a poem ...

Kenpachi - Capitalization in poetry is a stylistic choice for the poet. Camille, I think the lack of caps works fine in this poem, especially because you included proper punctuation. ...

Rika - You would be better off posting your continuations in separate threads or in the same post, not as different posts in the same thread. As for the story, ...

Bah, no bumping/begging for critiques! You should know better! As for the poem, I don't think the rhetorical questions are taking it anywhere. It reads like one of my late-at-night ...

(Hey mentor-buddy! Nice to see you posting! A suggestion: Don't put a plea for critiques in the post, and don't put your poem in bold! If you want to change ...

I don't quite have Leja's impression of this poem is that it's a rant with line breaks. And I don't see any evidence to the contrary. Come on, caps lock? ...

I'm gonna echo Snoink and say I've seen worse. If you want this to be bad you've GOT to have the word "shards" and some reference to a sunset or ...

I agree with Rieda. How can we get anything from a poem that looks like (and is) a splatter of words on a page? These are just a bunch of ...

Excessive line breaks are the least of this poem's worries. A larger problem is that the poem means little to a reader without context. What are we supposed to take ...

"Tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther..." Have you ever read The Great Gatsby? I think your poem could benefit from going a little more in depth. ...

This poem definitely needs to pulls its focus in more. What sort of impression is this poem supposed to give me? What's it supposed to be about, even? I don't ...

Lyrics should be placed under "Lyrics" not "Lyric Poetry," which is something entirely different. Now, lyrics may also be considered poetry, so I think it's okay if you keep them ...

Your primary concern should be "Am I saying something new about love?" (The answer right now is "Not really.") But in other issues regarding the sonnet: Rhyme. Throughout the ENTIRE ...

I'm not going to say anything on this poem, because I want people to interpret it the way they feel it should be. What do YOU think it is saying? ...

If you were looking for a critique, this is not the right forum. Look for the Fiction forums under "Writing" at the top bar on your screen. If you were ...