Cade

While I realize that the sun and moon were meant to parallel the two "sisters," the jump between the two topics was so sudden, and really not justified. Such a ...

Ink - I don't think shadowstorm meant to rhyme. Beauty and eternity don't rhyme. This poem is very pretty-sounding, but it's too flat and straightforward. What exactly is being described ...

Thanks for the crit on Yellow Pages, and now I shall comment on your piece. I certainly had a lot of trouble understanding it. I think I was on my ...

This is interesting, but I think you could pull it off better if you wrote it from a more personal point of view. This poem is told from the viewpoint ...

While I applaud the effort you must have put into this poem, it didn't really impress me. The phrases were so general. I couldn't visualize much. Pain is immense as ...

I'm all for haiku! I think you've done a good job with what is considered a normal haiku. They usually describe things, especially in nature. One rather large problem: Magic, ...

Mmm, nice. in with cinnamon and skirts flutter in the absence of crows, What does the absence of crows have to do with anything? I suppose that crows symbolize darkness ...

Ah, Lord of the Flies! Wait, I just remembered, I hated that book. The poem kind of failed to draw me in because it's just a list of images. It's ...

The second stanza was definitely the best. The first was a little bland, a little too straightforward, but the language and imagery in the second really struck me, especially that ...

That's morbid. I thought after the first stanza that it would just be a cute little bunny. Bunny go bye-bye, darn it. I think the repetition of "Run rabbit" in ...

Fascinating stuff! I love how the characters can talk about something as deep as God and still have interesting, realistic dialogue. Now, normally I'm all for nice short prose pieces ...

I agree with Claudette in that is isn't much. What should I, the reader, take away from this poem? Who is the speaker addressing? What happens? Does the subject die? ...

Would he understand love once more, its wraith-like fingers around your throat? "Your"? Who is the speaker addressing? That was sudden and out of place. small knife sounds I bet ...

I'm not really connecting all of these things. Where do all these images go? What am I supposed to see? I wasn't able to visualize anything beyond the curtains. A ...

Well the actual story behind this is that it is what a person who's dying of a disease is saying to their partner. Basically they don't want their partner to ...