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Young Writers Society



Sound of a nightmare.

by MorningStar.


Once more Ralph dreamed,
Skillful feet deal with his difficulties,
Forced down bare rock,
Between that & the dark
Luxuriance of the forest,
Peered, awestricken, into the gloom.
Shrieking, shrieking, shrieking.
Dangerous mountain,
Uncompromising cliff,
Impossible jungle,
Falling sheer into the sea.
Treat the day as though playing chess,
He was never a good chess player.
Silent...
Except for the sound of a nightmare.


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758 Reviews


Points: 5890
Reviews: 758

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Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:33 am
Cade wrote a review...



Ah, Lord of the Flies! Wait, I just remembered, I hated that book.

The poem kind of failed to draw me in because it's just a list of images. It's disjointed, not really going anywhere.

Forced down bare rock,
Between that & the dark
Luxuriance of the forest,
Peered, awestricken, into the gloom.
Shrieking, shrieking, shrieking.
Dangerous mountain,
Uncompromising cliff,
Impossible jungle,
Falling sheer into the sea.
Here's an example. Sure, these are all parts of the book, but I can't take away from them. They're typical images - why not describe them in a way that's unexpected?

What is the importance of chess? Did I miss something in the book or was that as random as I think it is?

The last line was nice, though, the sound of a nightmare. I think that's an effective image.

Colleen




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10 Reviews


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Mon Feb 26, 2007 6:31 pm
Shadow120 says...



I like the chess part :)

I lost my LotF poem :(

I love you.

x




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75 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 75

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Mon Feb 26, 2007 5:32 pm



I aint much of a poetry fan but i did like this. strange and thoughtful.

Thumbs up Jayde. Thumbs up.

:)





cron
Make sure you marry someone who laughs at the same things you do.
— Holden Caulfield