Cade

I agree with the others; pitter-patter ought to go at both ends, and "there're" is such a bizarre contraction, so leave it at "there are." The poem is pleasant and ...

I agree with Fand. I liked this poem; it didn't feel too abstract, there weren't any annoyingly complex double metaphors, etc. The more I read it the more satisfying it ...

*agrees with Fand* I would also like to add on to what Bloo said about the rhyme scheme...technically, "me" and "me" are not rhymes, they are, in fact, the same ...

I agree with Snoink and others. This poem does suffer from too much description, but hold on to it. When I have writer's block and I force myself to write, ...

The library computer says I only have ten...no, nine minutes left on the internet, so I have to make this short. 1. This is awfully wordy. I'm drowning in it. ...

Go back to the first two lines. Think about nighttime dreams and the images they conjure up, and how that can be comparable to the "dreams" that we're supposed to ...

ARGH I had my critique all typed out and lovely and Internet Explorer decided to ruin it all. Anyway, I think this piece is a great example of telling a ...

Well, I critted the first one, so I might as well do the second, eh? Again, I see the same flaws in description that were in the first one. The ...

Hooray French? Thanks for giving the meaning, or I would've been babbling on like this: "Does that mean 'Liver'? What does your liver have to do with books?" Hmm, we ...

I find this poem charming, but also a little wordy; that's what struck me on my first read and the feeling didn't wear off. I feel like the poem is ...

As always, I share Clau's view here. I would say that if the title and last line of your poem are the lyrics of a Shania Twain song, you've gone ...

impression of Ed's contest was that you were supposed to write a poem that Snape would write...but you could argue that he would write his own epitaph in a burst ...

I agree with Rieda and Clau, too. There are just a few things I want to add... Diction. Word choice will make or break your work. Here, I think you've ...

Comparing life to batteries is not a bad thing. Any metaphor can work if you pull it off. The thing is, what you've written isn't quite subtle enough. Metaphor. When ...

That's so adorable! That's so cute! But despite their best attempt, To all possible friends they are exempt You might try turning "they are" into "they're"...having one syllable instead of ...