Cade

It seems you're new, so welcome! And it also seems like you missed the Rules . Please read them before you post next time. The poem doesn't do much. Well, ...

It's not really my kind of poem...I enjoyed the voice and the sound very much, and you definitely have a talent for that. I just dislike poetry that's about an ...

The marionette image is way too overused. It's just...no. Just get rid of it. It might be fine to have one line that's like, "I'm like a marionette" or something ...

I agree with Snoink; the poem is too vague for my tastes. In general, I get what it's about--the words being permanent, people unwilling to accept what they see right ...

(By the way, I love your avvie. Semicolon, I still need you; I love you!) Diction. This poem is drowning in its own vocabulary! You need way more narration and ...

B'lieve you meant "Coffeeshop" with two e's in your title there. Meaning. What do you want this poem to say to its reader? That "all's well that ends well," Mondays ...

I don't know if my big red EMO stamp has seen anything this juicy before. I completely agree with smorg. What he said is totally correct (and I'm flattered that ...

Okay, what I was trying to say was while she's in this beautiful place she's still waiting for this guy to come and...seduce? I don't really want to use that ...

Agree with Ayra. This is essentially a list of cliches strung together with no punctuation....great for a Hallmark card or chain-email poem, not so great for more serious stuff. But ...

I agree with dumps are annoying. Why not do the whole scene? It's much more fun (and more informative) in the movies when they do a flashback rather than a ...

Diction. I disagree with linkreborn--I like the use of "stratosphere" because it has a great sound. But yes, "transition" is kind of silly. Pace and flow. I think this piece's ...

I think the perception of the book as racist actually comes out of ignorance...when Mark Twain was writing, the n-word was not considered vulgar, and Huck is representative of the ...

It's an interesting story, but I'm not sure of the merit of the subject...perhaps the analysis of the game of dodgeball would be better presented in a humorous essay. That's ...

I feel as though there is something behind this poem, but you're having a lot of trouble expressing it. It's hard for a reader to get into a poem that's ...

I'm gonna get this one with my big red EMO stamp! ....*stamps* As a generic modern alt song, this would be just dandy, because, hey, it's written about as well ...