Boni_Bee

Beautiful! :-) and Amen! I'm not sure I like the actual structure of the poem as it made it a big tricky to read. Can't the lines just be there ...

I hope my critique doesn’t seem too harsh. I really do like your story and it has a lot of potential, I’d just like to make some suggestions which you ...

I liked this. It's kind of abstract, but really neat. Ok, critique...: first some typos Look at me she thinks as t he sun sets quick Look at me she ...

Well I must say that for not having read the other chapters, I really liked this. It was mostly ordinary dialogue, but it kept me interested most of the way, ...

Wow, this was quite unique. It had me interested until the uncle said "you have been naughty again". Straight away it makes it sound like she's only about 10. How ...

"Your grandmother made that quilt for you," said my mother. This was a good way to start the story, although it is a bit abrupt. Ever since my grandmother ( ...

Rorin rubbed his eyes. He looked out the window, his eyes still adjusting to the light. "What? It's not even dawn yet!” How bright is it before dawn? "Hardly," Indun ...

Why is it that most of your poems have a third line that doesn't quite fit? lol...good job though, this made me laugh :P Just a typo.. it is 'smarter' ...

I liked this :) It had a nice, happy-go-lucky feel to it, that is easy to relate to. The only verse that didn't quite fit was the 'leap for a ...

There once was a spider, very small who hung one day upon the wall. Harmless and gentle, and very nice, he could disappear within a trice. Then along came a ...

A long last, I can read more!!! :D lol... Very good. Although there certainly weren't any heart racing moments in this chapter, I still enjoyed it, and I liked the ...

In the brief momen of quiet, the dragon scanned the sky and sighed. It is 'momen t ' The dragon clenched his teeth to keep his temper under controll. Or ...

When I close my eyes, I can pretend I'm somewhere else. Anywhere else. I leave reality and enter a dream. My dreams are the best places to be. No one ...

I was the wind rider because I rode on my horse so fast I was only but a blur on the horizon. It was as though I rode the wind ...

That was interesting....I know what you're getting at, but yes the first part was a bit confusing... And I suggest that instead of him putting his hand to his chin, ...