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Re: [Insert Dramatic Title Here]- Chapter One
Right, so I disagree with some of what willachilles and ThePhoenix said. I can obviously tell this is not a fast food place like McDonald's. I was brought back to ...
Sep 4, 2015 -
Re: [Insert Dramatic Title Here]
So this is a little late but I'm going to review your stuff now :D Alright, so I agree with NafaKitty and jumpingsheep. This was really well written and descriptive, ...
Sep 4, 2015 -
Re: Beastling : Chapter 3
Me again :) A couple of grammatical errors I noticed: You repeat "despise" in paragraphs 2 and 3. Her rattled nerves settled as the large man returned her embrace with ...
Aug 20, 2015 -
Re: Beastling : Chapter 2
Oh, poor cub =( I hope things change for the beastlings! Now I'm getting REALLY SUPER curious about what the heck is going on with the beastlings. who is this ...
Aug 19, 2015 -
Re: Beastling : Chapter 1
Hello! Hawk here for a review :) Let me start with the nitpicky stuff (there wasn't a whole lot.) I agree with Blues about the quotation after togeth- , it ...
Aug 19, 2015 -
Re: Mala Suerte: a Love Story Within a Prison
I agree with Cody, the formatting was a bit strange to me. With a bit of tuning I think it could work though :) (Also, I like the title as ...
Aug 19, 2015 -
Re: Dreamscapes (Chapter 1: The Crescentheim Assault)
Blackhawk reporting for duty! Okay, let me just say: your story is AMAZING! Your character development and use of the supernatural is fantastic! I love everything about this piece! It's ...
Aug 19, 2015 -
Re: chapter one the curer
Hello, Hawk here for a review! Alright, so I have two main things I want to say, that are sort of one thing in the long run: character/plot development and ...
Aug 19, 2015 -
Re: Death's Warrior Chapter 3 (Part 1)
Me again :) Question: is the first paragraph meant to be mocking the "great laws" that were written? Your use of the word "pretentiously" almost makes me think so. If ...
Aug 19, 2015 -
Re: Death's Warrior Chapter 2 (Part 2)
Let me just start by saying that I completely disagree with everything that RacheDrache said. The "blubber" as she calls it, I feel like complements the story. Without it, reading ...
Aug 18, 2015 -
Re: Death's Warrior Chapter 2 (Part 1)
Hey there, Hawk again :) So, I love the way your story is developing. Everything everyone else has said seems right on, except for the comment that Kastia isn't a ...
Aug 18, 2015 -
Re: Lake of the Moon
So I meant to give you some advice on this piece, but FromWithin basically covered it all! I love romance stories, and this one was fantastic by far. This is ...
Aug 15, 2015 -
Re: I will get out!
Hi, Hawk here to lend some friendly advice :) So, the first section needs to be split up into paragraphs. It's very very long. Also, the first few opening sentences ...
Aug 15, 2015 -
Re: Removed
Hey :) Hawk here to give you a review. First off, this was super captivating. Though I'm still pretty completely and utterly lost at what's going on, it's alright because ...
Jul 15, 2015 -
Re: Shadow Princess (Chapter Five)
Hey there :) So I didn't read the first four chapters, but despite that I still enjoyed the story. The title intrigued me, and though not a lot happens in ...
Jul 15, 2015
