BlackDove

this is very sad and beautiful. i am not too good at reviewing and critiqing poetry, but i enjoyed this. i agree that you used the reptition affectively and it ...

“We’re not afraid of you, elf! We’ve already wounded you, and we can do it again!” there is nothing wrong with this grammatically. But there is something rather cliché about ...

“I have come to reclaim the lands of a once great people. All I want is for you and your men to leave. Go home to your cities. Once I ...

I am just going to read this chapter by chapter. You have a very nice talent, but I can only read so much at once! Bang bang. This is the ...

The first part was very good. I am only reading the first chapter at the moment. But I am already intrigued. However, don’t you think that Alexa’s father was a ...

It was like Rapid fire! “rapid” wouldn’t have a capital letter I don’t think! “Cross was right you are pretty cool.” try “Cross was right (full stop) You are pretty ...

They lead you to believe the system perfect, add an “S” into system. but it not perfect maybe “it’S” second biggest company in the world we had branches in Sydney, ...

We are nearly home now. I spot another demon. This one smiles at me. His teeth aren't shattered like the others you have used this adjective before. and bacause of ...

“A few boats drifting on the water's surface could be seen,” this could be reversed. It would sound better. Something like “A few boats could be seen, drifting on the ...

I was filled with remorse as if I had lost a loved one, this doesn’t seem to make sense, cause you HAVE lost someone. Maybe you should say something like ...

“He panted with pain” this doesn’t seem the right word to me. I would be yelling “a grin borne from blood lust while he reached for his long dirk. “ ...

I am reviewing this as I read, so forgive me if I am inconsistant :) “The prospect of having no meat was enough to make her grumpy.” It would make ...

why do i find this dream chilling and slightly disturbing? you say you had this dream yourself? Maybe it's because of what everything symbolises. for example, when the woman has ...

The first sentence is a little confusing. Snow is on the ground and I’m not sure veiled it the right ward. Do you mean, the snow veiled the forest from ...

Wow! this is good. It reminds me vaguely of a book my mum told me to read. "The curious insident of the Dog in the Nighttime." the main character was ...