Azila

Sorry, I haven't got any title ideas. I'm terrible with titles myself, so even if I did have an idea I'm not sure you'd want to use it :lol:

Alright, much better with the formatting firstly! And now, let's get onto my promised review, shall we? There are a lot of spelling mistakes (waist instead of waste, car's instead ...

The new version is much better! It makes it a lot more interesting if you use more different words, don't you agree? You still use "begin" a lot... "he begins ...

Yummm! That was a good cherry... especially considering it's not really the peak of cherry season. Where's you get it? I can never find places that sell hypothetical cherries, they're ...

Thanks people! I'm not that crazy about this piece myself anyway... so I don't mind if you say it stinks. You don't have to coat your critiques in honey or ...

C'mon guys! Is anyone elso going to critique this?! Or are you going to make poor Sunshine send it in with nothing but my 12 year-old opinion??? (just coming to ...

Thank you both! Prokaryote: I absolutely know what you mean about that sentence. I was trying to sort of take the reader inside the rain drops. But you're right, I ...

I will most definitely reread it. PM me when you post it, k? Glad I could help!! :D ~A~

Thanks people! I'll try to work with all those me's (whoa! That sounds like I have multiple personality disorder :P) you commented on. And I'll change that capitalization thingy too... ...

Coolio! I love Roald Dahl too... his "Esiotrot" was the first real book I ever read! Anyway, I'll try to read that sometime I've got time (not now, unfortunately) Thanks ...

Thank you so much people!! I actually wrote this in bed last night after going for the walk. :) I will try to work on the things you said, Canislupis, ...

Kingdom Carrier: Thanks!! Welcome, and I can't wait to read your stuff!! Misty: I don't think I'm going to make it into a novel. I might right a short sequel, ...

Hmm... Despite the lack of originality, I think I liked it as a rose better. A sunflower just doesn't make sense; SUNFLOWERS DON'T HAVE HORNS! So if you don't want ...

Thank you so much, everyone! I changed a lot of things, but I just don't have the heart to take out the alligators yet (sorry Snoink and Co.) but I'll ...

Hi guys! Thanks so much for the reviews people! I'm not sure I am going to write more on it, I haven't thought of more yet, anyway :D Like I ...