AyumiGosu17

Hey Aqua. Ayumi here. Just to make you feel better, you're not the only one with problems with songs. I'm the opposite of you; I can write the music, but ...

In line twelve...you wrote "misgortunes" instead of "misfortunes". But that's all I saw wrong with it. I absolutely love your tone, descriptions, and use of metaphors. It really captures the ...

Unlike most people, I actually prefer free verse, especially when it's on such a complicated topic: love. I like the introduction. It makes me want to keep reading, to find ...

Wow. This is deep; I read the title and I felt an electric shock go through me. I read this, and sympathy and sadness filled me. I don't like the ...

Not too bad. I like synopses; they make a long story short and sweet. Not that long stories are a bad thing. :lol: I just couldn't help but notice a ...

Wow. This one...I get mixed feelings. I like it in that it depicts what I went through with my own best friend, back in September. It makes all the rage ...

Hmm. Not bad for a first attempt. And it makes sense. Everything is smooth, each stanza has a good transition, and every statement has a point. But if you're not ...

I'm sorry, I had to stop reading after the...tenth paragraph or so. The intentions were good, but your writing can be a lot better. Your sentences are not parallel. Parallelism ...

Hmm. It interested me. It made me think, "Wait a minute. But what about the girl? What will Laurence do, since he knows the story well? What will the plot ...

Sakura stared into the mirror of the changing room cubicle that she had incapacitated herself into. For the last hour, she had been frantically trying on every dress in the ...

So I trued out for the cheer squad. Don't you mean "tried?" lol That night me and my Mom "That night, my mom and I" sounds so much better. and ...

A good essay, but it could be better. Try breaking this into specific topics, and then have one paragraph per topic. It makes more sense and looks better that way. ...

Not bad at all, except for it being really long. I only got half-way through this time. But I intend to come back and read the rest! Gosh, high school ...

Not bad at all! A couple of simple errors, like misplaced semicolons and misspelled words, but it's fixable. Personally, I'd like to know why Petra is the main character. Describe ...

Each generation was more powerful then the last and more destructive. You could probably write it this way: Each generation was more powerful and destructive than the last. Be careful ...