Ares

Good story. Could use some editing, revising, and research. For instance, a CIA operative probably wouldn't work alone, in this instance anyways, and he'd have something better than a mag ...

It is long. That might be why there aren't so many takers. I'd tell you that I'd read it but uhm...well...I lie. It doesn't look too bad, I bet if ...

Sherwood , Oh, (Take out el comma-o) Sherwood , is Robin Hood awake? For his daughter Rowan is waiting at the lake. A daughter of outlaws is uncommon except in ...

The Reaper has visited us this day. His scythe has taken our companions, our friends. Our brothers. The Grey Blade has fallen this day. Did you catch all that "this ...

Show don't tell (End of the first paragraph). Then, I think it'd be better if you character decided to run away a little more gradually, after thinking about stuff. You ...

Revise and edit! Add some periods! Correct the spacing! Forget the minutes= thing, elaborate on the scenes, proofread...etc. It looks like you're capitalizing random letters...stop that... The storyli

Haziness sounds weird in the first paragraph but I like the end of the second paragraph. We use M4s nowadays. It's the newer M16. Why is one of the Rangers ...

It all looks about good to me. The climbing thing was a little confusing, made me wonder what his motives were...but it's late here so maybe I missed something... And ...

His reign was cruel and hard until another Titan came and imprisoned the Infernal Titan in a nether-cage in the void. Not so slick. Try, The Infernal Titan's cruel, hard ...

This is now, officially, being copied and pasted into a word document, so that I might read it and jot down my thoughts, when I have enough free time to ...

Uhm... Good. A few things seemed out of place, like this; her robes flowing like a flag in a hurricane. And other than that, you did a pretty good job ...

Dang. Harsh ending. I really enjoyed this though, it definetly wasn't a waste of time. You had a good intro and for the most part, a really good piece. Break ...

Potential. Mucho Potential. Overuse of the word 'orc', 'their' should be 'there' in this sentece "OK OK, their behind Ceris hill.." Apart from that, this IS an interrogation scene, so ...

Oi... This shall be done chapter by chapter. One every time I get on the computer and/or have time. What a coincidence it is that your first chapter is incredibly ...

I thought it was great. You overused a few words like 'happened' or somehting like that in the beginning... Hothead, mech, etc. It was good though, I wouldn't have stuck ...