Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Sherwood Oh, Sherwood is Robin Hood awake? For his daughter Rowan is waiting at the lake. A daughter of outlaws is uncommon except in Sherwood. Come father to the glade, calls Rowan.They gather, she with her small band and he with his merry lads.
OKay....well that's an interesting tone here to start on. There's a very songlike almost poetic quality to that opening which instantly reminds me of something along the lines of a legend or a fairy tale here. Well this is certainly off to a pretty intriguing start by the looks of things here, I can't wait to see where this manages to take us.
Clad in Lincoln green they stand facing one as a united band. Robin and Rowan tall in an archer’s stance nod. Rowan screams Charge while unleashing a volley of arrows. Swords clang, battle cries fill the air, blood runs for a battle has begun. Volley after volley of arrows fell both enemy and band alike; a haze fills the air.
Hmm I was not expecting this to be diving straight into a sequence of this particular nature, but it definitely makes things quite interesting here. I think you've done a decent job with this battle. Its a little on the shorter side to fully judge really, but I think you have managed to do a pretty solid job of things here with this particular style and with this shorter format.
The battle dies down the haze lifts. Rowan heals both bad and band alike. All the while feast preparations have begun. The smell of roasting meat fills the air,bread made ,fire stoked. Rowan calls Lionel lets go the feast,please hurry. Rowan enters glade looking like her fair mother Celandine. Her band enters behind her each looking like who they are: a giant minstrel, a princess, a wild boy, and a trickster. On Rowans hand gleams a strand of silver,a small token from her mother. Robin and his lads smile for each knows this ring is what brought the band together. Lionel starts to complain of his aches and pains from the battle. Then he begins to sing of Arthur and his Lady Guinevere.Then he sings of Robin and Rowan each in turn. Father and daughter both legends uncommon except in Sherwood. A archer with a healers hand,a father unknown. They are Robin and Rowan Hood. A family is among outlaws is impossible except in Sherwood.
Alright, well it seems that's meant to be coming towards a pretty wholesome ending there, it certainly does a decent job of attempting to pull it off and I can see where it is trying to go here, but I do have to say that perhaps you might need to be doing a little bit more with this piece if you plan on actually selling this ending here. Right now these all feel far more like points to note within a plot than it really is a full story, and that does not make for the best situation here. So its a good plan here, but for the style of story you want, you simply need to build on this quite a bit more.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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