AquaMarine

Hey Sarah! How're you doing? I think that you have a nice idea here, and I actually like the shortness of the poem. Sometimes they drag on, which isn't actually ...

Hey there! Despite the whole sadness and dark side of the poem, I did enjoy it. Your rhyme scheme is kind of flawless, which is nice, and the rhythm impeccable. ...

Hey there! I like this because it is a personal poem. It's not something generic, not really. You've put yourself into this poem, you've put things that mean something to ...

Haha, this is a lovely idea! When I saw the title I assumed it was going to be something whiny about the joys of childhood, but no, it's actually quite ...

I actually really enjoyed this! It's dealing with an idea that has been dealt with before, but the language you use is wonderful, as is your writing style. Another thing ...

Hey there! I liked this! It really evokes memories of, well, swinging on swings in childhood! It's quite lovely. One thing I would point out is your ending. You suddenly, ...

Hey there! Now, my suggestion to you here is that you really get across the message that you're meaning to. I sense that something happened between the narrator and their ...

Hey Rachel! Now, the problem with this is that it doesn't really give the reader (that's me!) any MEAT. You've got the basics of the poem here, sure; you've got ...

Hey there! I think that, in this poem, you've told us everything rather than shown us everything. One example would be: It was all just an illusion Something that was ...

Hey there! This was a very original poem! I absolutely loved it. :D I do think that you could, perhaps, make the subject (as Snoink said) slightly clearer throughout the ...

Hey there! Now, one thing I think would be really nice is if you expanded on a couple of lines. The most obvious you be: 'The beautiful night sky fills ...

Hey there! I liked this poem. As people have said, it's kind of simple but lovely and sweet which makes a very nice read. The flow could definitely be improved: ...

Hey there! Welcome to YWS! I hope you're having a nice time so far. :) This is a nice poem, it really is. However, I did think that sonnets were ...

Hey there! Agh. It's full of 'U's. Be sure to spell them out in full, k? And, as Empress said, I think punctuation would work here. Your rhymes seemed kind ...

Dude, now I really want candy. Well, I loved this! It's taken a poetic (and extremely scary) slant on the evil usergroup which I know and love.