Andrea2676Marie

You've got a great start. I want to read the next part! The idea is original, and I love the way that your characters are developing! Continue to write this ...

This is great! Even though it's short, it has A LOT of emotion packed into it. Some sweet emotion! It's definitely got some dark parts in it, ("When a woman ...

I enjoyed the read. I think you have a lot of room to expand on this, even though the idea is sometimes over-done. I think this gives you the chance ...

Chapter Four is lookin' pretty good! I look forward to reading chapter five! However, I see a lot of room for expansion in this chapter. Don't be afraid to take ...

I feel like you're snapping from one idea to the next without much warning. I've been reading the story, and I am enjoying it so far. I think you need ...

I think this is an excellent start to a story! Please continue to expand and write more chapters on this idea. It's an intriguing start, and I really want to ...

Alright. First off, I really enjoyed the read. You're content and general idea is pretty good. The characters are becoming well developed, and the grammar is better than the last ...

I must admit, this is very confusing to me. I didn't really enjoy it, but maybe it's just because it's not my style. I've decided to read more of your ...

Pretty good! I think it's definitely unique, and I'm honestly not really sure how to react to it? I don't know why but I think it's really interesting. Louis Lane ...

This is a really good start. You've got a lot of emotion packed in here. To make this an easier read, may I suggest not bolding or italicizing your story? ...

I really enjoyed reading this! There's a personal sense to your piece, and it's awesome! I love the emotion, and the way you were able to show it in each ...

Good start! May I suggest that you make the chapters a little longer? A typical chapter normally isn't quite so short. There are minor grammatical errors, which is an easy ...

You really poured out your feeling in this. I think pieces of it would make an excellent song. If you are interested in turning this into a story, or chapters ...

I really enjoy the era that you set this story in. I think you can expand a lot on this, and I suggest that you do! I encourage you to ...

I like the way this story went. You've got a lot of original ideas and you did a fantastic job at making the story flow together. I encourage you to ...