Alainna

This has a lot of potential, but as it stands it's lacking emotion. You're halfway there - if you add to this piece and go into more detail then I ...

I really liked the idea behind this but a few things let your poem down slightly. They are talking Not to me Doesn't run very smoothly and doesn't make sense. ...

This was very intriguing and yes, I suppose I did like it. The blade pierced into my chest shedding a thousand crimson tear drops onto the ground. Strong start. I ...

Hi there. Well, both versions were written beautifully - you have a good way of capturing the feel and emotions of the moment and transporting the reader there. I preferred ...

This is very short and I think that with the idea that you've got you may be better off writing a prose piece for it instead. What I would suggest ...

Hi and welcome to YWS. We do ask that you critique two pieces before you post your own and keep to the 2:1 ratio. I liked the twist at the ...

Hi Mark. This was a beautiful piece; very poetic. I loved the last two lines. I also found very little at fault with this piece. and rewards those who dance ...

I have to agree with Krupp. This is a very interesting way of revealing characteristics. A sort of Jekyll and Hyde. I liked the narrative a lot. I think that ...

Hey Jess! I liked this and I liked how the story turned out to be about racism - on some level. I knew that it was hot but who knew ...

Hi and welcome to YWS! I enjoyed the style of your writing, the narrative was your strong point. Pierre twitched his long fingers, anxiously his eyes never leaving the bulging ...

I finished this book yesterday. It's not one of my favourite classics; I prefer Rebecca. Having said that it is much better than Jane Eyre, which I detested. I found ...

This was very thought provoking and there was a lot of emotion behind it. I know the topic that the poem refers to as I watched a Bob Geldof documentary ...

There was something about this that made me want to read it all, yet made me feel like it was lacking something. Punctuation was a big problem in this as ...

Hiya! This was good, it shows that it could lead somewhere and I like your style. However there were several spelling mistakes so I suggest you use a spell checker ...

Hi, welcome to the site. First of all, we like to keep the crit to post ratio at 2-1 here so please don't post any more until you have critiqued ...