Akisha

The opening paragraph is good. The pace throughout the two chapters is perfect, not too fast or too slow. "The closer it was to the bus, the faster it seemed ...

We studied Romeo and Juliet in school. It was a little confusing at first but you get used to it after a while and it became very enjoyable. I also ...

I prefer the Harry Potter books. I got half way through the LOTR and gave up, but that was when I was 10 or 11 so I might have another ...

I read everything and I have to say Its quite good. I won't start pointing out grammar mistakes because you've already said that you're going to change it. I got ...

Very good. I got confused one or two times and had to read over certain pieces again, but other than that it was very good. Once again, I haven't got ...

I really liked this poem! =D> Its really nice! I'm not a huge fan of poetry myself but I think this is good. I think you should make It longer. ...

I read about half of this. You really need to break up your sentences. Your putting in too many and's. He led me way down the hall It was very ...

Pretty amazing. The way you described was If I was there. I could smell, feel, hear everything(as someone else already said). I liked It, a lot. You really have a ...

It's good for a children's story, but i personally don't find It terribly interesting. Ever so slightly too predictable and i think you should flesh it out a bit more ...

[u]1st part of the story[/u] Its a very imaginative piece, with a good storyline. There is quite a few grammatical errors though and the story is a bit rushed. You ...

Let me see...I can't really think of any faults with it apart from the ones already mentioned. It's good but Its not [i]brilliant[/i]. It didn't really grab my attention, Its ...

1st Paragraph I think you need to describe the setting a bit more here. I didn't get a very clear image of what was going on. "a slight smile escaped ...

I think Snoink was a little harsh but suppose harshness is needed to be a good critic! I think your narration was good apart from a few mistakes that i ...