Adnamarine

The phrase 'I hate my new school' jumped out at me as an extremely modern-sounding line in a poem that was anything but. It didn't fit. In fact that whole ...

Hey yoyo! This was altogether good, simple, clear, and compelling; good emotion. Your rythm and capitalization are spot on. For punctuation, I'd make the changes Sometimes said. However... :) The ...

My mother is downstairs, Her hesitant fingers asking The concertina to sing In the dimly lit kitchen.

I actually like the first one better, but the fact that I like either is almost surprising to me, because normally I can't stand anything as short as your first ...

First of all, can't wait to hear more! Just one thing that always drives me crazy is when parents call their son... son. Not that you have to change that, ...

Hi! I like your concept of 'same old story.' But I think you need to make it longer, and put in more imagery. The last verse was very good. You ...

As I look into his eyes All I see are l ies then I look again and I see all the love we use d to have for one another... ...

*takes a long, deep breath* Wow . This was beautiful. It was very powerful, and sucked me in. For some reason, I normally avoid the longer poetry pieces, and I ...

This was wonderful, loved it. A few things though. First, when you say 'I am desperate for your love' in the first two lines it makes it sounds as though ...

Love your style, kitty, rythm was great, everything wonderful... The content was rather cynical, a bit strange, and definately not always true! If I just listen to the words themselves, ...

I'd say wow, but everybody else seems to have that covered:) This was really sad, really powerful, really good. I was going to say maybe a bit more imagery and ...

Wow. That was... wow. It was very good, it definately portrayed the emotion you were going for if you were going for kind of dark. But it was good. I ...

Have I ever mentioned that you write amazing poetry? I don't really have anything to critique about this, so I suppose this isn't the most helpful, but I figure it's ...

Another excellent piece:) I think I can offer more suggestions for this one than for the other, though. And I will try to meet you there. I would get rid ...

This was excellent. I loved how you led up to the bit about the paper. And perhaps that I why, This line doesn't make sense. Maybe it was supposed to ...