AdamBH

Loved it! I especially loved the end of the second to last stanza, it makes it so much sadder. I do think the rest of it is terribly much like ...

It's good. I think that having 'and more' at the end of each stanza is a little akward, although I can see why you have done it. I also think ...

This is very sweet, and smart too! I think it's amazing how you took such a cliché scenario and turned it into a very deep and meaningful monologue where we ...

I love it! The only thing I can say is that I'd love to know a bit more about the context of this; is it written from the perspective of ...

Wonderful! I do think it could use some imagery and interlinking themes though, just to make it more emotive and interesting. But it's fine like that too. :D

It's fantastic! Concluding tone definitely needed. Emotion...yes maybe but it's very good even so. Think about what your conclusion really is. Is it about the neighbours turning a blind eye? ...

Is it about a mental hospital? That's the only thing I can think of. Anyway I think that if it is indeed about a mental hospital, or whatever it is ...

Hi, I thought that was a very powerful theme, and I liked it! But I don't think it generally works as a monologue as it is, and I'll tell you ...

I loved it! And I don't think the sturcture is messy because of all the enjambement. It makes you just read on and read on without the structure getting in ...

Wonderful :D The only thing I can say is that the line breaks and the fact that it's all in one stanza is a bit boring. Why don't you see ...

I like it a lot, especially the last stanza, but it's quite vague. Are you trying to say that civilisation confines you from experiening life for real? If so, expand ...

Lovely idea. I don't think the last stanza was necessary all. You can just delete it, because it repeats and that's all. I think you should also delve more deeply ...

I love it! But the only thing I can say is that I didn't feel embrassed for you. I suspected that was the idea even before I read the part ...