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Re: The Overnight Convenience Store
I enjoyed this. The conversations between Itsuki and Iroha have a certain casual charm to them. There's a pleasant contrast between her outgoing nature and his more reserved disposition, which ...
Oct 11 -
Re: The Autopsy of a God: Prologue
I enjoyed this prologue. I liked Aureon's fascination with mortal life and his listing: the warmth of bread, a mother's love, a flower growing beneath a willow. The flower scene ...
Oct 5 -
Re: A Soul Waiting for Its Autumn.
I enjoyed this. The comparison between the speaker and the sky works especially well. The idea that the sky can cry openly while the speaker cannot gives the opening a ...
Oct 1 -
Re: Sea without a boat
I enjoyed this. The repeated “I am” structure gives the poem a consistent rhythm, while each image presents a different version of isolation. I liked “I am a sun that ...
Oct 1 -
Re: THE WEEK I COULDN'T BEND
I enjoyed this poem. The idea of a single week becoming something endless comes through well. The imagery of time folding, spinning, and finally snapping back into the present gives ...
Sep 30 -
Re: Why do I write? (Late night ramblings; essay)
I enjoyed this quite a lot. I found the voice very familiar: intelligent and self-aware, taking itself completely seriously while mocking itself for doing so. The parenthetical asides, rhetorical ques
Sep 30 -
Re: Mourning Akibu (experimental fiction)
I enjoyed this. The in-world academic framing works well; the translator’s notes, references, footnotes, and little scholarly asides make the whole thing feel like a recovered piece of literature ra
Sep 30 -
Re: Falling
I enjoyed this poem. The progression from “might be falling” to “I have already fallen” is effective, and the repetition gives the poem a playful, almost breathless rhythm. Each stanza ...
Sep 30 -
Re: The Last Tree That Remembered Winter
I enjoyed this poem. There is something quietly devastating about it. I appreciate that the oak never actually instructs the saplings. Instead, its memory exists in its habits, which feels ...
Sep 28 -
Re: A little less blue
I enjoyed this prose. It has a simple premise, but something is unsettling about the way the stranger talks around the painting instead of explaining it. The opening also establishes ...
Sep 28 -
Re: if i loved you in another lifetime
I enjoyed this poem. It has such a soft, dreamlike atmosphere to it, and the medieval imagery feels natural rather than simply decorative. I liked the detail of the book ...
Sep 28 -
Re: "I am not Jerry!"
I enjoyed this poem. It feels incredibly playful and affectionate. The poem builds its idea of “cute” through all these little mannerisms rather than simply telling us that she is ...
Sep 27 -
Re: You are my every season..
I enjoyed this poem. The seasonal imagery gives the whole piece a consistent sense of longing. I liked the image of “the last golden leaf” falling into the speaker’s trembling ...
Sep 27 -
Re: They don't know about me
I enjoyed this poem. The repeated “No one knows” works well because it gives the poem a confessional, almost claustrophobic feeling, as though the speaker keeps revealing another layer of ...
Sep 27 -
Re: Chapter 3: Odehi and The Conspiracy (part 1) - The Lady of Light (completed novel, draft 3)
Bzz - hello -bzz A bee is here to review your work! I haven't read the previous chapters, so I'm approaching this one as an unfamiliar reader. Some things may ...
Sep 26
