little illusions that makes me happy
even if they aren't real they still amaze me
little wishes i make when i see the stars
even if they are hopeless in them i have faith
little dreams i have when i close my eyes
i know they won't be true....but i still smile when i go through
every little thing is about you
you can ask the sun and the moon
you can ask the rainfall days and the sky
only if they can speak..
they will tell you how much in you i believe
how much i love and miss your face and your smile
so every time the sun is so bright
and the moon is so full at night
everytime the sky is a shining blue
and the rain seems to sing for you
then remember,they are all trying to tell you
how much i love you
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140,752 Literary Works • 673,686 Reviews
Hey there!
Lovely poem..I can relate
You have expressed your ideas thoroughly. It was a pleasure to read this piece. It made me smile. Although proper punctuation can take this poem to new heights. You have not punctuated at all, not even a single comma! Proper punctuation can improve any work. Right now, it is looking like a rough draft. Punctuation will give it a final- work kind of feeling. Also, the line 'You can ask the rainfall days and the sky..' makes no sense to me. Did you mean '..the rainfall, days, and the sky'? Because I can't understand what you are trying to say here.
Apart from these few minor things, I really liked the poem. I enjoyed reading it. It was a really sweet and cute piece. Reminded me of..*ahm* yeah, nice work. Okay, bye!
Hello there, I seemed to be quite impressed by the way you write a poem to express love. It does not look horrible (which is written for the fun of it), but I admit, you can balance your feelings through it. That makes me quite happy when reading it.
I see, you can actually improve the way you deliver your poem.
"then remember, they are all trying to tell you"
It is a romantic poem, so I think you need to give more punctuation. The reason, it can affect the tone and the way readers read your poem, whether slow or fast. Overall, really nice poem to read. I enjoyed reading the ideas within the poem and I wish to see more from you soon!
Keep writing and good luck.