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Paper Planes (Epilogue)

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Ophelia,

I am slowly but surely demoning away. But I did get the chance to write this letter.

It’s been a few months since I’ve written to you, and I apologize for that, but I do have something to tell you that you should really know…

I’ve brought destruction upon my own home. I don’t ever seem to recall what I’ve done, but I know it’s me. This place is now a fiery hell, and I don’t know what to do to stop it. I can’t control myself, and I’m being taken over.

I wish I could stop it, I really do. But I cannot. And you cannot either. I was just born to die.

And it is with a heavy heart that I tell you that this may be my last paper plane to you. But I want you to carry on with your life, and tell our story to everyone.

I love you more than I’ve loved anyone on this Earth. You kept me company, and you led me to the darkness with you, letting me take care of you and you of me.

You have no idea how much I want to run away from this land and hold you in my arms. You’re my best friend, my sister, and as upsetting as it may be, my love interest.

But I cannot be attached to you any longer, for we have to let each other go.

The river may appear from time to time, but you mustn’t go to it. It is the demon of me trying to lure you into this fiery hell. Don’t come back for me, my fate has been sealed. And if you return you may wreak havoc upon your world as well.

I’ll never forget you, Ophelia.

You carry the most beautiful name, and the most adventurous heart.

Carry on.

Dan x

________________________________________________________________________________

This is the official ending to Paper Planes, my very first completed novel! I'll be starting a new novel that I have already started working on with my friend, Tamara. She's helped me with the characters and tips on the plots of each chapter. I've finished the first two chapters already, but I need some critiquing on the first chapter so I can edit the second. I hope you guys can also review the novel for Review Day! There's a lot of work needed and I need some quality tips! So I hope I'll get some reviews on the novel today and tomorrow.

"Carry on" ~ Joop!

Comments & reviews · 5
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User avatar
TheSilverFox
Review

Hey, congrats on your first completed novel! That's one amazing achievement, and I'm impressed! Great job! :D

Now, as it's obvious why I am here, on to the review...

Wow, this made me sad. :'(. This chapter is a wonderful touch of both joy and sorrow. It seems that Dan has finally met his tragic demise, and these may be the last words he ever speaks before he is controlled by the dark soul within him. His own house is now in flames, the land is a fiery hell, and he is slowly becoming possessed by the demon. The last of the paper planes is sent, and their relationship has ended. The plot itself displays that this story flows with pure sadness, from the start to the end. The same can be said for the details that allow me to easily envision each scene. I can imagine what had happened to the land in Ophelia's absence, the way that Dan describes that he 'was just born to die' (which, I might add, is perhaps the most tragic part of the story - Dan's recognition and acceptance of his inevitable fate), and that they must let go. I can feel his sorrow, sense his pain, as well as his devotion to Ophelia and how much he cares for her. The ending of the letter, in particular, is vivid and beautiful. It is a nice conclusion to the novel as a whole, saying, in just a few words, the relationship between Dan and Ophelia, and how they must stay apart forever. When it comes to the plot and emotions of the story, therefore, I am impressed.

In all, this is beautiful. It is intense, vivid, and thoughtful. You constructed this letter incredibly well, and it is an excellent conclusion to the novel. I enjoyed every single part of this epilogue, and I enjoyed reading this novel from start to finish. Thank you for this wonderful adventure, xJupiter! :D

Thanks so much, Silv! I appreciate the fact that so many people liked the novel and that I've been getting better at writing with every chapter. I really do enjoy writing fantasy, and it makes me so happy to know that it has an emotional effect on people!

Wooooooo!

User avatar
racket
Comment

Aaaah, bittersweet ending! *cries in a corner* They sure did fall in love fast, but I did enjoy it. good job!

Thanks, friiieeend.

Hey, xJupiter!

Ah, this is it, huh? Unless of course, I demand a sequel from you.

#000000 "> The Review!


#004000 ">Plot

Spoiler
#004000 "> this epilogue really wraps everything up really well. It's well written, and short and sweet. I feel like as a reader, it's good ending. There's only one question that remains; How'd Ophelia react to this letter? It's not absolutely needed for this, but I know that some people (like me) may wonder. But not knowing also adds a sense of mystery that's pretty intriguing. Readers can decide for themselves what they think Ophelia did. (I personally like to think she went back anyways, and demoned away with Dan. Or perhaps found a way to save him and the mystery-world). So, I personally like the air of mystery this leaves, but I know that people (like my brother) hate loose strings being left. So it's up to you as an author who you would want to please (as long as it pleases you as well).


#FF0000 ">Characters

Spoiler
#FF0000 "> I love how in this Epilouge we learn a bit more about Dan himself. It was well done, so no comments here really.


#800080 ">Other

Spoiler
#800080 "> N/A


#000080 ">Typos/Grammar/Odd Sentences

Spoiler
#000080 "> I don't think I noticed any!


Well, congrats on finishing this novel!! :D

~Myth

Thanks again for following this the whole way through!

You get a gold star, my friend.

User avatar
erilea
Review
erilea wrote a review · Sun Sep 27, 2015 12:26 am

Hello, Jupiter! Artemis here for another review! Happy Review Day! :D

Let's jump in. So, first of all... demoning isn't a word. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I don't think it is. If it actually exists, then what does it mean? I assume it means leaving or fading or something like that, but I'm not sure. It's an interesting word choice, but it's confusing to the reader. I suggest you use something else.

"I am slowly but surely demoning away."

I'm also not sure if this whole demon thing is a metaphor, or like a fantasy thing. Could you make it a little bit clearer, please? It may be confusing for some others.

I really liked the concept, and it kind of got me interested. This whole good-bye letter thing kind of makes me sentimental, as does every letter that's in a book. Usually they do that. I really like how you hooked me there, Jupiter!

Good job and never stop writing, my friend!

-Artemis28, Team Tardis

"Demoning Away" is a term frequently used in Japanese Manga that has to do with demons or Spirits in which they use "Spiriting Away" as well. It's not technically an English word, but it is used.

It's a fantasy thing, though.

No worries! Happy Review Day! >w<

Congratulations on finishing the novel! This was a lovely send-off for Dan. I like how he's writing it on a paper plane :) and yes, Ophelia is a lovely name.

They're not literally siblings, are they?

I like the whole 'demoning' angle. Was Dan transformed into a demon? That's awesome. Though, I suppose, he doesn't think so. Brooding, regretful Byronic hero, I expect he is.

Good luck with the next novel! Keep us posted! :)

No they are not literally siblings, but thanks for the review!



how can i live laugh love in these conditions
— Orion42