Introduction:
Hello everybody. It's wtppowers here. I decided that I should take time to explain to you what I've been doing, since it may not be clear to most of you. The last 7 poems I've written are supposed to be tied together, to form a story. I was inspired to do this after listening to Pink Floyd's The Wall and My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade (both are killer albums and worth a good listen, by the way). So, the following is an explanation of how the poems all run into each other.
Poems Used (in order of publication):
1. Today (or "Walking Out")
2. Passed Around
3. All Week Long (Ashley's Schedule)
4. Please, Danny
5. To Those Of You Who Helped Me Die
6. Father To Daughter (Please Forgive Me)
7. Final Words
*Note: each of the poems is hyper-linked in the following paragraph, in order to show you just where they fit in.
Explanation:
This story revolves around one person, a teenage girl named Sarah. It starts off with Matthew, her father, walking out after he discovers that his wife is sleeping with a majority of her co-workers. Her mother, Ashley, is eventually fired from her job. Ashley soon deteriorates, often ignoring her daughter and abusing drugs. On one of her runs to a bar, she meets a man named Dan, who is abusive, and has raped Sarah on numerous occasions. The abuse, coupled with her mother's behavior and problems at school, lead Sarah to commit suicide one day after school. Her death soon causes quite a stir in her town, and it quickly spreads to a distant suburb, where Matthew now lives with a new family. Upon hearing of Sarah's death, Matthew breaks down, and begins to apologize for leaving his daughter in such an environment. The story ends with Sarah in the Afterlife, looking down on her destroyed family and forgiving them for all the wrong they have done.
Final Thoughts
I'm humbled by all the kind words these poems have gotten from each of you guys. The reactions I've gotten, especially from those who seem shocked that I'd put such horrid scenarios so simply. They have encouraged me to keep writing this series, and to continue writing in general. I especially love how each of you took the poems separately, perhaps encouraging you to not do something stupid. I hope that you guys write something like this, a "concept series", if I dare call it that. I know I plan to do some more.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
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Hey there, friend.
I just wanted to stop by quickly to let you know that the idea of a concept series is totally do-able and has been published before. This is not trying to say "jeez u r not original", but more of an encouragement: you can do this! And people will totally be able to follow it.
One thing that you want to consider is whether you're going to explain all of this to future readers. Like, usually a reader isn't around you as an author-person and can't get that kind of explanation. So they have to trust that you'll make it clear enough in the individual poems the story they are supposed to be following. That's generally how it's done: author's notes are kind of out of place, since we should be able to communicate through the actual writing piece instead of having to explain.
So have you had any beta readers -- new ones, with fresh eyes -- take a look at the collection in the order you intended and see whether they can understand what's going on? See if you can't find somebody on YWS to read through the whole collection, and ask them all about their reactions, if they felt there was a narrative (but without hinting too strongly that there was, or you'll mess up the genuine viewpoint!), etc. That will let you know whether you've communicated the narrative that you wanted to share without needing the author's note.
As for the story -- and keep in mind I haven't read the poems so I'm not sure if you handle the subject matter more delicately there -- but it seems a little bit far fetched the way you've described it. 'Cause you have to describe all the bad stuff all in one paragraph, it makes me be like "no way, that did not all happen to one girl -- that's just the author trying to make things bad for a character to be interesting, etc.". But! Obviously pacing between poems is different, so it might not make a difference.
Anyway, I hope these thoughts are helpful for you!
PM me if you have any questions or comments about this review, please~
Good luck and keep writing!
Hello wtp, Wolf here for more of an evaluation.
Since this isn't really a normal piece to review, it is really unique and I don't think I've seen anyone do anything quite like it. I find it really neat how you pull all these poems into one little story, a tragic one at that, and build off of one line in a paragraph to show these character's lives.
An abnormal piece calls for an abnormal review, and I'm pretty sure most of the poems have their own individual comments (and personally I'm not a poet so I couldn't help you much there), but I can pull together all the content and evaluate it.
When I read through the paragraph that ties in all your fantastic poems, I was a little mislead at parts. In the very beginning we were told the basic premise of this 'set' was focused around a teenage girl names Sarah. Though, I'm lead to believe more that this is based on the parent's perspective of everything. Sure we get a poem about how Sarah commits suicide, but there's how Sarah's mother goes on drugs, how they deal with Sarah's death, who Sarah's mother meets. Etc. Maybe just changing that a little bit, but you're the author, so it's your call.
Congratulations for doing something completely unique and I hope to see more awesome works from you. Happy Review Day and Keep Writing,
~Wolfare
Hello, wtppowers! I was compelled to leave a comment after reading your final thoughts and explanation. Your concept is fantastic and I can't believe you were able to communicate your ideas for your story so effectively and beautifully within seven poems. Poetry is my favorite genre of writing. I love to read poems and they are also my favorite to write. Just two weeks ago I started on a story, also told through poetry. I never thought to call it a "concept series" I never knew what I had. I'm not finished yet but your story is definitely inspiring. Thank you!
Well, please tell me when you're finished. I would love to read it!
I like how you explained what you did with the poems, I would have read the said poems as to give you a better review, but they are rated beyond me. But I like what you did with them, Making a sort of poetic novel. I'm not sure why I haven't found anything like this before. I would incourage you to keep it up, someone who knows how to assemble poetry needs to show it.