I took a bus to your house, silence was all that I found.
I made a call, you didn't answer.
I ran after you, you didn't slow down.
A breathe was took to call for you, you didn't come.
I took my last bus.
I made my last call.
I pursued you with all my will.
I took my last breathe to beckon you.
The headlights were lurid.
The call was truncate.
The driver never called for me.
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Canary word: Present
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138,973 Literary Works • 672,387 Reviews
This is a very good poem. Have you every realy felt like that cause I have and it is not a good feeling. Good job with meaning and emotion. Not to be critical but the word chose could have been better other than that great. Realy like it.
Alright, didn't want to post a review without completely getting it! ha, anyhow here is my review.
I liked the concept of this poem, and the ending made me smile.. i know that sounds evil but it was a smile of "awe", not a awe like the awe you get when you see a cute dog... the awe you get at a funeral. The only part I didn't like was the unanswered question.... what about the girl? Is she now lost in guilt that he died because of her?
The only thing I'd change is the use of the word I, and just used commas
Yupp...he got hit by a bus!
Before I post a reveiw, I'd like to ask... did he just get hit by a bus at the end? My brain is half asleep tongiht.
I liked this. Had to read it twice to fully understand it but once I did I found it enjoyable.
Made me giggle a little too, I found it dark with a light twist.
Though I admit I would have liked it longer, but its strength in its simplicity is great.