You did not write this story. Please remove it. You stole it from me on XNXX.com. Thank you.

ok now it is getting really interesting. All sorts of questions come to mind, like what will the commander think when he finds out she is a dragon rider? will he even come back? etc. Love the whole set up and plot of the story. It gets more and more intense as it unfolds.

Heya,
I've read all your chapters by the way, I am so intrigued by the story line. I think though your writing can be improved slightly. I think you could dive deeper into the complexity of your main characters mind slightly. Use more describing words and put a tiny little more thought into what you are writing about and before publishing things, look through for grammatical errors. It's so silly when you are reading a story and you get all these so easy to spot mistakes and it just takes out the magic. Other then that, Great! Love you story!
Love,
EvensLily xx

wolfgirl13 wrote:Roscrow had watched his men move the eggs one by one back to the tavern. They placed them with infinite care into a large, padded basket. With much effort,We know it was with effort because you go on to say ' was able' which implies a struggle of sorts. Fire Flower's rider was able to keep her calm enough that they could move all the eggs. She continued to hiss and fret.

After a quick inspectionof the eggsstop using the term 'eggs' it's annoying already, all of which were a shinyplatnium colorfind a better way to describe the colour this did nothing for me, Roscrow came over to Granger. The brute lowered his head, accepting his rider's touch with a mutter of greeting. Roscrow scrached his dragon right under his eyelid where the thick scales turned to skin. Granger's eye closed, a small drop of spittle? What? forming at the corner of his mouth as he purred in pleasure.

"Four eggs with this batch, eh, buddy? You keep going like this and soon half the army will made up of your offspring." Roscrow smiled when Granger murmured to him. War dragons were known to be the most vocal with hundreds of unique sounds. Many times, Roscrow could almostswear he heard Granger talk.