Young Writers Society

I get romantic rock vibes from this song. I can hear guitar chords in my mind and hear someone with a beautiful voice screaming their heart out on stage. I can see myself rocking out the this and bringing the crowd to tears with flying roses.
Now I understand that is meant to be a heartbreak song in a way something I completely relate to and understand what you're going trough in this song. I just want to tell you as a suggestion to make metaphors and for imagery purposes. overall still a banger though!

Greetings Composer!

Beyond my beloved horizon, I'm setting sail into uncharted pages with an itch for adventure. Through binoculars, I spy with my little eye a lovely lyrics titled “red lipstick” that deserves a review. So without further ado, let’s begin.



Very first of all, I must say that you've written quite a moving lyrics. The lyrics tells a tale about the speaker who waits every single day for a text of someone she loves.

The speaker is in denial of her feelings for the person. Because the guy hates her on his behalf, he broke her heart.

Your use of repetition boosts the impact of your lyrics. I would really love to listen to this lyrics as a song, perhaps in the future, one day, someday.

That's it, that's all.
Hoping the short review has been of value to you!

With writer’s love,
Rose

Salutations, curious mind!

Spoiler! :

I must compliment you on your amazing username. Who doesn't love vanilla velvet cake? I do. Anyways, I found this picture on the internet that represents your username as the name of this song. I thought I would show it to you.

Howdy!

This is very very beautiful! <3

Alright, to get into it. . .

" I want to get lost in those umber eyes
I want you to be my only guy
When I look at you I feel like I could fly
I wish you could be mine "

Very cute line, honestly, I think that it sounds similar to a lot of things I've read and heard before, but it's good to keep patterns as long as you involve your uniqueness. remember you have a perspective nobody else has!!


"There's no turning back now even though I have my doubts"
My favorite line by far!!


"Dear reader, It's been a while since I've uploaded in YWS.
Life took me and I got busy with schoolworks and such...
This is a poem I wrote a year ago that's been laying here gathering dust.
I believe it's time to take them out."

I understand and me too!!


Good morning/ afternoon/ evening/ night (to wherever you are!)

-Kenn

Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a review!

I wish you could be mine
I wish you could be mine
I wish you could be mine
Tonight, now, and forever

Even though you hate me on your behalf
'Cause that's something we can both agree on

I hate how it's difficult to call out your bluff
You break my heart faster than a glass and a rock oh
I hate this type of love, it's too tough
But I can't turn on the lock

So first of all, nicely done with the rhyme scheme here. Whenever I try to make things rhyme, it doesn't usually work out all that great, but you nailed that pretty nicely. I also think it's pretty cool that you wrote this as a song and it clearly has a refrain. Nicely done!

I do have some critiques, though. My number one is the title. I feel that's it's a little disconnected to the main points here. You don't mention lipstick at all in the song or anything that suggests the symbolism connected to that. But maybe it's just my more practical mind playing pranks on me. Haha.

The other critic I have for you is tags. I think this one should get at LEAST a 12+ tag because of the last two lines in the first stanza.

Oh how butterflies flutter in the skies