Theodore: Bone Boy

Hello Hello, I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. I have only read one of the chapters so far, I will apologize if I get something wrong. I feel we should start the review properly with all of that out of the way. Let's get into it, shall we?

Overall this was a very interesting yet twisted read. This took a turn so fast and I was not prepared. However, with you and your works, I really should have been aware that it would go that way when we got to the fairies—props on you for keeping up the trickster side of the fae.

This was dark and I was wrong in my last review. Theodore is not okay at all poor kid. He didn't deserve his fate, he was just a little childish and flamboyant like all good theatre kids are. He and his poor friends did nothing to get their flesh and muscles ripped off.

On that topic, I do have to say that this made me queasy. I promise you that it is in a good way as well done horror can churn your stomach with only a brief passage. Perhaps it's the idea of the one thing you should be able to trust being ripped away from you in the most literal sense that gets me. Even more so when you haven't had a chance to live your own life yet. Wrap that together with a chilling song and it is some good horror.

Besides that truly horrible fate, I am also curious. It seems like something has gone awry in whatever land these creatures call home. This poses a lot of questions that I would read to answer. Was it the kids doing or some unknown force? Perhaps it was all an act to lure these kids in and thus a cycle doomed to repeat.

I guess I will have to read on to know.

Now that we have gone through the highlights I think we should move onto the feedback. As always I am not a professional nor do you have to use anything I say. You are the author after all!

This is going to be a short one as I could only find two small things I wanted to bring up.

she had incomprehensible goliath strength.

Now these are my thoughts on things but I feel this line comes off as a bit awkward. The two descriptors give off the same idea but when paired together become a figurative mouthful. I would take one out to help with flow.

she had incomprehensible strength.

( Feel free to play around with it.)

For though he wasn’t dead, he wasn’t quite alive, either.

I could be wrong here but I think you might have put the wrong word here. I would tweak it just a little.

Although he wasn’t dead, he wasn’t quite alive, either.

Regardless of this feedback, I enjoyed this piece. I feel like there's a lot of room for mystery and worldbuilding in this story. So I cant wait to see where it goes from here.

Now before I sign off I just want to say Happy Review Day!

As always keep writing and remember to drink water!

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression

Well poor Theodore really did not have a great time of life it seems. Quite a horrifying tale of how he went from a happy child playing with children to his current state which of course the worst part is he feels is better than the life his parents forced him to live.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

Once, there was a little boy named Theodore with curly black hair and bright blue eyes. He loved playing with his special, magical friend, Rosemary Rosina Rosalind, who had purple hair that bounced around her pink-polka dotted face, and mismatched blue and yellow eyes. Theodore liked that she looked like a crayon drawing, it made her fun!

His friends, Kelsey, Wendy, and Corey couldn’t see her, but that was alright. They could see the fairies! All four of them could see the fairies in the garden.

And they all promised to stay with the fairies forever.

Well that seems like quite a cute little opening there. Playing with fairies in the garden seem like the sort of thing that can't get into any trouble but I suppose we'll find out soon enough.

Years had passed since it happened. Theodore was no longer six, but sixteen. His friends were gone. The fairies took them. Rosemary was gone. She disappeared after that day.

All in one day, the fairies had grown claws and snatched up those dearest to him. Rosemary only protected him, and then she never came back. All in one day, the fairies that Theodore was fascinated with became pointed-tooth monsters, intent on eating away at life.

He was sitting on his bed in his room, twirling the hair of one of his dolls. Mother and father never liked the dolls, but they gave it to him anyway, declaring that he would “grow out of it”.

Well that's interesting. For starters looks like those fairies are more accurately bloodthirsty spirits of some kind and the poor boy has lost out on a lot of friends thanks to them. Well we'll see how that pans out.

Just like Theodore was supposed to grow out of Rosemary. Just like Theodore was supposed to grow out of acting. Just like Theodore was supposed to marry the girl downstairs, Dolores, who dreamed of being a doctor.

He never knew who Dolores was until he met her. She was a kind girl with big dreams. Like him, her parents didn’t want her to pursue her dream career. Like him, her parents expected her to “grow out of it” and marry Theodore because he was the closest boy in the neighborhood.

He appreciated that Dolores didn’t chase him up the stairs, that she convinced everyone else to wait. If he was able to escape without getting noticed, then maybe he would write letters to Dolores, keep in touch with her as a friend.

Well looks like his parents are quite horrible and are generally doing their best to keep poor Theodore locked up and away from anything that he actually wants to do. That does not seem like it will end too terribly well.

Theodore stared out the window. All he had to do was jump. The green grass would cushion his fall, and then he would be off on his journey to be an actor.

“You’re a tricky one, aren’t you?” A woman’s voice asked mockingly.

Theodore jumped, facing the owner of the voice.

There was a tiny pink-haired fairy flying in the corner of his room, her yellow eyes glinting like the snakes he had to be careful not to step on in the forest. She winked at him and flew close to his eyes, her green and blue dress swishing about her like the flowers she wanted to kill.

Well that's interesting. We're right back to actual fairies. Are fairies just evil in this universe? Well I suppose we'll find out soon enough as we continue the conversation with this one.

“Evelyn? Why are you still here? I thought you were happy enough.” Theodore said glumly.

Wasn’t she already satisfied with killing his friends?

Evelyn’s lips distorted into a pout, and her yellow eyes rolled in annoyance.

“My siblings got to have all of the fun! Three fairies, three kids. It was perfect! I was supposed to kill you! To take you for sustenance.” Evelyn said.

She flew around his face, tapping one finger to her lips, as though she were deep in thought. Theodore tried to get up, but she would bop him on the head and he would be pushed back. For such a small creature, she had incomprehensible goliath strength.

Well looks like the fairies are not just evil but also super strong and bloodthirsty. That is not something I knew I needed until now but I am absolutely loving this particular interpretation of fairies.

[quot“However, now that I think of it, killing you is too easy.” Evelyn mused.

Theod]eore tried to snatch her up, but she was zipping around him faster than his hands could move. Thick pink smoke encircled him, trapped him with the fairy.

Evelyn’s lips became lined with cracks, bits of her peach skin began to pale and peel off. Her pink hair started to wither to gray. Theodore felt his stomach churn in disgust at what she was becoming, but then, from her cracked lips, a song skittered out in a husky, decaying tone:[/quote]

Oh dear that does not sound like that's about to be anything good here. Poor Theodore might have survived out of all of his friends but it looks like he's going to live to regret that now.

Evelyn was beginning to flush with color, her lips no longer cracked. But Theodore…

Theodore felt his skin ripping…ripping…he saw his body bleed…he felt his eyes go plop on the ground.

He could still see, but it wasn’t the same as before. All color was gone. There was only black, white, and gray. Evelyn was gone. Outside his bedroom door, he could hear Dolores frantically try to get everyone downstairs again. She didn’t want them to bother him, even after the minutes stretched on.

Oh dear that does not sound good in the slightest. Things are going very very wrong from the looks of things. I suppose Theodore does have to become the bone boy at some point and that's what's going down here.

Theodore plopped onto the ground. He felt so thin, too thin. His inner bones were exposed to the world, thanks to Evelyn.

But he still felt his heart beating, proof that he was alive. All he had to do was find Evelyn and make her change him back. Force her to give him his life back.

Plop.

He felt his heart sink out of his chest and watched as it rolled onto the floor, red and bloody, then blackened to dust.

Oh dear that does not sound good at all. One by one he's being left with nothing but bones and somehow through some cruel magic it seems Evelyn's going to prevent him from dying too.

Theodore paused for a moment.

His friends were gone.

Rosemary was gone.

Evelyn was gone.

Color was gone.

Even his life was gone.

But was it ever his life to begin with? The adults were the ones making the decisions, the adults were the ones deciding his fate. Did he ever have a chance at acting, or was he destined to marry Dolores?

Well looks like poor Theodor here has lost absolutely everything there. Certainly not a good moment for him although it seems looking at everything that was a part of his life death is a kind prospect. That truly is a really tear jerking moment that we have here.

Maybe Dolores will get her happy ending. Theodore thought grimly to himself as he climbed out of his open window.

For though he wasn’t dead, he wasn’t quite alive, either. He was in-between, unable to breathe, unable to rest.

Already, Theodore could see blowflies eager to eat what little shreds of meat he had left in his body. Soon, the maggots would come, and he’d have to treat them as friends, for how else would he be able to accept it?

No more fairy world. No more dreams. No more colors.

Just his bones and the bugs, all for eternity.

Well that is a properly horrifying note to end on there. Just horror for poor Theodor to deal with for the rest of his time spent alive which looks to be a very long eternity there.

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

Overall

Overall I think a job well done here really establishing the early life of Theodor and what he went through and then showcasing how bad it was to the point he feels like his life being over isn't the worst. At least it he only wishes good to others so maybe things will be good to him eventually as eternity passes by.

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate