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E - Everyone


by urvikavyas

Her husband had a no color on face policy ,it came to her mind to change it,

that very morning her lips wore a Flaming Red!

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272 Reviews

Points: 210
Reviews: 272

Fri Apr 15, 2016 3:55 am
Charm wrote a review...

Hey! Just a short review for a short work~

I was very confused when reading this. Not only was your grammar and punctuation a little messed up but also the face you wrote it, the words, made it confusing. The story was hard to understand what was happening.

I've never heard of micro fiction before. I didn't even know it was a thing xD isn't this just a short story? Anyway I think if you rewrite this with clearer words and more words it would be more understandable.

Sorry that this was so negative,
Alice ♥

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742 Reviews

Points: 11158
Reviews: 742

Sat Apr 09, 2016 10:40 pm
CaptainJack wrote a review...

Hey there urvikavyas. It's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.

Welcome to YWS! Congrats on publishing what I am guessing is your second or third piece. Well the second in your series of micro-fiction. And that brings me to my first point.

Its Micro-Fiction again!

What exactly is micro-fiction? Is like an even shorter version of flash fiction? Like just one sentence based off of a particular subject. I'm guessing the subject has something to do with colors or maybe just red because of the emphasis on the shade. This is a pretty good way to introduce your piece because it made me wondering what exactly micro-fiction was.

Her husband had a no color on face policy ,

No space is needed in between policy and the comma. Also I think the policy would go better if hyphenated.
Her husband had a no-color-on-face policy,

Even with the hyphens it doesn't sound quite right, like you need a "the" in there. Did you have a word limit or something for the sentence?

that very morning her lips wore a Flaming Red!

The caps in the middle of the sentence were of course for emphasis but it looks odd. You could actually give it color. Here's one possible shade.
that very morning her lips wore a#FF0000 ">flaming red!

Well that's about all I have for this review. Sorry if I couldn't offer anymore words of advices/comments, that it depending on how you take them.
Have a nice day.
Queen of the Book Clubs

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34 Reviews

Points: 439
Reviews: 34

Fri Apr 08, 2016 2:20 pm
JediDeadpool says...

I think it would make sense if you said "no-color-on-face" policy

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63 Reviews

Points: 17
Reviews: 63

Fri Apr 08, 2016 3:52 am
Werthan says...

I don't really get it. Some woman's husband doesn't want her to wear makeup, but she decided to anyways. What's the story written for? Is it written to convey symbolism, or action, or drama, or what?

urvikavyas says...

Its written for a festival of my state where we play with colors .

Werthan says...

Oh, that context makes sense.

No man or woman who tries to pursue an ideal in his or her own way is without enemies.
— Daisy Bates