A cold, outstreched hand,
welcoming you to him, his land.
A shiver, a tingling embrace,
the look of apprehension on your face.
You falter as he laughs,
you realise he has you under his wrath.
He strokes your pale cheek,
savours your frozen breath, he's in his peak.
He relishes in the pain you feel,
he knows this is no nightmare, it's real.
He needs this more than air, than water,
his passion burns for your emotional slaughter.
Your discomfort makes him stronger,
he only yearns for more, for it to last longer.
He'll do it till it drains you, till you can take it no more,
or channel you briefly, promising to come back,
and give you the real touch of fear...
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141,354 Literary Works • 674,379 Reviews
I thought this was a marvelous piece! The detail and description, however short, was magnificent. I especially enjoyed when you wrote
"He needs this more than air, than water,
his passion burns for your emotional slaughter."
You used very beautiful wording that just took my breath away and sent my mind on a spectacular frenzy! It is a great piece of work and I rather hope to see more coming our way!
...
.......
......YOU'RE TWELVE!!!!????
Wow! Just to start off, congrats and kudos and props and all of that great stuff for even talking your parents into joining this site (If they even know) I don't know, maybe I'm a loser, but my mommy and daddy would have been devastated if I had joined a website at the age of twelve...
So yeah, congrats!
Kay, now onto the matter at hand, your poem... WOW. Incredible. I'm at a loss for words... All I can really say is, I hope this poem isn't based off of any real life experiences you had to deal with at your age... If this is a personal reflection and you did go through anything like that, I'm sorry, are you okay now?
See? Your piece WAS effective, it's gotten me thinking, and now I'm a little worried too... Good job!
>>>Ryan<<<
P.S. That last part was not sarcasm, it was really a great job! Keep up the good work!