Tears are like rain;
They escape from your eyes
When the clouds just can't take anymore
.
They can fall as a storm
Or start off as drizzle,
Watering the roses that bloom on your cheeks.
.
Tears are like rain;
Once the pain goes away,
The sky is clearer than ever before.
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Hey thegirlwhowrites!
The poem was really amazing. I loved the way you expressed your thoughts.
The similie you used was very apt. I would say you must write more poems. I would love to read them.
The reference of pain added to the essence of the topic. Keep up the good work!
thank you so much!
Are you serious? This is amazing! It flows just like you described the tears, like rain. Keep it up! I can barely keep up with poetry, but I manage. I love it, and I hope that you do too. Are you sure that this was a homework assignment and not an extraordinary breakthrough in writing?
Wow did I not expect such a review! Haha, thank you so much!
I liked the content of the poem. The message you were trying was god but I think how you conveyed it wasn't really quite well.
The use of vocabulary isn't quite open, you should have expanded it more because when I was reading this piece (like how you wrote it) it got quite boring. Maybe the other thing that was wrong with this was the words position(?) The line:
--"When the clouds just can't take anymore"
Was really bothering me, if only you wrote it like;
--"When the clouds couldn't take it anymore"
or anything like the sort it would describe it more better and give the imagery bloom.
And the last line of the second stanza didn't seem to be in place. I know it was a chronological order to show where the tears flow but I didn't understand what "roses that blooms on your cheeks" really means.
[hopes this helps]
thank you!
Hello!
Okay I love this. Seriously and I really get bored sometimes with poetry LOL but I really do like this.
So I was just wondering if maybe you forgot the a. So like is it supposed to be "or start off as drizzle" and you just forgot the a. I do that all the time but if you didn't then, I like it still.
Okay seriously I absolutely love this. Endings, like in books or movies, tv shows, everything and anything, are my favorite part. So this to me is a perfect ending. Your poem starts off as like a rainy day (lol) and it seems sad and depressing but you just say the pain will go away and the sky will be clearer than ever and I LOVE THAT! To me you are saying that life will be clearer, that's what I'm getting at that line.
This is really good and you seriously deserve an A++++ for this!
Aw thank you, I didn't expect such good feedback
But I didn't really understand what you meant by the a? Sorry, do you mind explaining again?