Whoever thought “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” has never felt real pain.
Thud! The last
push pushed.
Slap! The last slap slapped.
Huff! The last punch punched.
Crunch! The last bone crushed.
One day, these will become faded bruises,
Memories, hurdles that I overcame
Words dig deeper wounds than knife cuts ever will
Stitches and bruises fade away in time but words will never disappear
Leaving an invisible mark in your past, where time stands forever still
People may be forgiven but their words will always leave a tear
One day those words will turn to pillars
Supporting me through life’s turmoil
Tell me that I’m ugly, you’re jealous that I’m pretty
Tell me that you hate me, but you’re not the one to impress
Tell me that I’m stupid, but you know that I am just witty
Tell me that I’m not perfect, I know, I’m a work in progress
One day, I will find those words in a drawer in the back of my mind,
Set them free, let them roam, not caring at all on where they go
One day, I will find my own words to fight you back
One day will be today.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Firstly, I adore your Avatar. Oh my.
Right, onto the poem!
I'd suggest changing the sounds into italics perhaps, just to give the piece more of a punch and separate the sounds from the words more
I seriously loved how you referred to yourself as a work in progress, as we all are and it's such a good way of putting it... genius...!
"Tell me that I’m ugly, you’re jealous that I’m pretty
Tell me that you hate me, but you’re not the one to impress
Tell me that I’m stupid, but you know that I am just witty"
My favourite lines by far, they were so full of meaning and they were just overall, beautiful
Seriously, great work! You are such an awesome writer.
Wow, thanks so much, it means a lot
And oh my finnicking God, why? what about your avatar?? PERFECTION.
Hehe, Finnick offering sugar cubes is pretty damn cool
Aw, but yours is just adorable.
hello there, thegirlwhowrites!
WOW! This poem is amazing! I absoluteley loved it! It has fantastic imagery and descriptions. Easily hits close to home. The connections between the saying at the top and throughout the poem is perfect. I have written things like this before, however not on yws.
My favorite part is
"Tell me that I’m ugly, you’re jealous that I’m pretty
Tell me that you hate me, but you’re not the one to impress
Tell me that I’m stupid, but you know that I am just witty
Tell me that I’m not perfect, I know, I’m a work in progress"
That is a list of the things that I tell myself to get through the day. It really brought this poem around full circle for me.
I also loved the ending.
One thing I wanted to ask about, why are some of the words blue? I've never seen that before....haha.
That's all for now, thanks for the wonderful work, keep writing!
--Cam
Thank you!
Oh, i thought the blue words were just on my computer! Oh gosh ahah I have no idea why they're in blue.
I'm happy you liked it
Hey there thegirlwhowrites! I really liked this poem, I think it tells a very nice message that bullies don't win and I like how you bring the poem to a close with "One day will be today". Loved it!! You also used a very creative choice of words, I especially like "One day those words will turn to pillars"
I wasn't so sure about 2-5 line, it seems a little bit wrong that the line before says that physical wounds don't hurt as much as words then to be immediately followed by someone being beaten up. It may have been a metaphor but I'm not 100% sure. Your grammar and everything nitty gritty is mostly perfect! Though I think you could maybe add punctuation at the end of each line.
Besides that, amazing poem! Will leave a nice golden like!
See ya!
Hi again
Thanks for the review and the like!
ooh gosh, you're right about the 2-5 line thing... I'll look over that I really hadn't thought about it.
See you around Potterhead
You make review! :O
Hey reader! Sorry, I've tried putting in paragraph breaks but it isn't working...