Like Wine

I just want to say that this doesn't really use iambic pentameter, but I liked the rest of it. I liked the rhyme scheme and the rhymes; I liked the symbolism too. I don't know much about Wine, but I don't really get the line"Climbing through thick wood, we own the nation!" Really, that whole stanza doesn't' really make sense, except for maybe "hums through the veins" and "poured into holy grails."
But, this is a really good poem, and will definitely get a good grade on the assignment.
I'd work a little harder on getting the iambic pentameter right.

I'm still trying to understand the deeper meaning of poetry. I have a friend who loves poetry but when she shows it to me I don't understand. Then she explains it to me and I see the deeper meaning and how beautiful it really is. Or sometimes how it shows deep personal encounters. Or you just express your feelings. Could you please leave a short description for me?

I like this poem and I'm sure you've noticed but mystery was miss spelled I like the initial thought of the poem and its really easy to comprehend um it could use a few more verses in my opinion but other then that it seems pretty good and I think you did a good job keep up the good work and continue to be creative like this

Hey!

Hhhmmm done in a Shakespearean form? interesting, the way you've finished it is how Shakespeare would finish an act in his plays with a rhyming couplet, to let the actors know they were moving on.
I found some of the lines hard to understand, such as:
"Chocking on ancient desire; never been faced"
"Climbing through think wood, we own the nation"
and
"Color so vivid; drown in desp'rete praise."

I'm not sure what you're trying to get at with these lines was all!

What I did like though to reflect the drunkness was the shortened words "mystr'y" and "desp'rate", that bit is cleverly incorporated.

Another point that I'm not sure worked, was the Iambic Pentameter, I tried to read it with the iambic pentameter and found it quite hard to do so. Did you write it with the iambic pentameter in mind? or was it a thing after like "Oh I can read it with an iambic pentameter", I'm just not sure it worked. I just posted a poem, and I wrote that with an Iambic Pentameter from the start, it's called "Exultation of Stress" if you want to have a look.

But otherwise good imagery, double meaning and some interesting vocabulary. Good job!

Hello! I really love this poem, however there were some things that needed to be edited.

I don't think the bold font is necessary, but it's fine just the way it is. Also, what's the foot note for? I don't really think it's necessary either. Aside from this, I did not find any other errors. Great Job! I love the theme! My favorite stanzas were:

"The soul is a vessel caged like aged wine,
Thoughts are bitter as the bubbles are sweet.
Closed until opened, the feeling divine.
Nectar to the mind like the bread we eat."

And

"But when poured too much, too rich is the taste.
Drunken spirits to forget hazy days,
Choking on ancient desire; never been faced.
Color so vivid; drown in desp’rate praise."

Anyway, great work! Keep writing!
GrapeNerd

I really like the theme of this poem. It almost made me thirsty I love how you describe it and the way you rhyme is brilliant.
"
But when poured too much, too rich is the taste.
Drunken spirits to forget hazy days,
Choking on ancient desire; never been faced.
Color so vivid; drown in desp’rate praise.

Intoxication and living in sin.
Wine is a mystr’y to keep bottled in."
These are my favorite lines : ) The title was intriguing so yeah I read it. I really like your work,cant wait to read more of it! Keep posting. Xxx, Claire