Like a song that
never ends
it is the mystery
of depths and gore alike.
Of fallen birds and
sunken treasure
and sometimes
broken little wings.
Suffused in anger
longing
love
and desire,
waves crash and
pound against my ears
and into
my heart.
Moonlight shivers above
against the wake of dolphins.
And little beasts
whose lips kiss
fly through streams.
We can
sail though the fog
getting drunken
on the brine.
We can dive
and not ever be afraid
to die
There is
colour in this world,
like a reflection of
old hopes.
In it I will never
fear falling,
for sinking is like
a dream.
.
..
...
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140,080 Literary Works • 672,994 Reviews
Pretty. I like the ending.
It definitely showed the happiness behind what there is. It reminds me of so many quotes...
But still, the symbolism, the metaphors... they really add feeling to this poem.
Okay, so this was adorable
, and also very deep. Honestly, when I first read it the "THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS" song got stuck in my head.....Yupp, still there....Anyways, I just had a few thinks I wanted to point out 
. Good job! Don't forget to capitalize the first letter of every line!
Like a song that
never ends,
it is the mystery
of depths and gore alike.
Of fallen birds and
sunken treasure,
and sometimes
broken little wings.
Suffused in anger
longing
love This should really only be one line.
and desire.
waves crash and This should be in the line below
pound against my ears
and into
my heart. This should only be one line.
Moonlight shivers above
against the wake of dolphins.
And little beasts,
whose lips kiss
fly through streams.
We can
sail though the fog, Put this in the line above.
getting drunken drunk** getting and drunken are two different tenses, so I would suggest changing drunken to drunk.
on the brine.
We can dive
and not ever be afraid
to die.
There is
colour in this world,
like a reflection of put this in the line below
old hopes.
In it I will never
fear falling,
for sinking is like
a dream.
I really liked the poem, dispite my nitpicking
This was an enjoyment to read yet the way you kept using the word 'and' was a little annoying at times. Yes it did flow in well with this but it didn't at the same time (if that makes sense). Other than that everything was good.
Keep it up!
~G.G (Gamergirl)
Very interesting and thoughtful I liked the flow quite a bit. (I'm sorry, I'm not a great reviewer) I can't think of really anthing to change because it left such a good impression.