It’s hard to describe a laugh to someone who’s never heard it.
His was the laugh like an oak tree’s leaves dancing in the wind.
His was the laugh of shining blue eyes and a tilted head.
His was the laugh of talking and talking for hours, losing track of time.
His laugh belonged to the spring of Spring, when the trees were budding in pastels and the air seems a bit brighter, the ground a bit firmer, the world a bit braver.
His was the laugh that loved honey lemonade on the porch in the summer while the sky is filled with the colors of fire and of peace and of glory.
His was the laugh of a perfect prom draped with roses and brimming with dances and dreams.
His was the laugh of sweet carmel candies, wild flowers, and love’s first kiss.
His was the laugh of a wedding in a small, quiet chapel full of old pews and frightening bees.
His was the laugh of a wedding ring, thought lost and fallen down the drain, only to be found in Sparky the dog’s mouth.
His was the laugh of waves crashing against the rocks, spraying us with their salty mists.
His was the laugh of overjoyed shouts and excited phone calls when we found out our family was finally going to be made complete.
It’s hard to describe a laugh to someone who’s never heard, my son. But now he’s gone, I’ll try my best so you can know him and his laugh.
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140,385 Literary Works • 673,138 Reviews
tallywa, have you ever considered writing a series of poems/ "poems"?
I've been reading over some of your work and I think this an amazing piece I forgot about. But has so much potential for being expanded.
Seriously, this is one of your most powerful pieces on YWS. I would highly suggest fine tuning this piece or working with it in a way to make into a portfolio/selection/compilation etc etc. It's be awesome!
Toodles,
~alliwa
This made me tear up a little, it was simply beautiful and very beautifully written.
I liked the emotion you put into this, it was emotional and it was very beautiful how you ended it. It seemed to be a little repetitive but there wasn't much else to say, it'd be over complicating it by changing the way of introducing the way she described her husband's laugh to her son.
Many people would say they wanted to have more to the story but I wouldn't have added more to how you ended it, it is perfect the way it is.
Hello! Ktg here to review, for you!
I like the idea quite a bit.
Personally, when I look to review something, the number one thing I look for is the category (Romance) and the second is the length (I like short and sweet)...this was perfect! It immediately grabbed my attention!
At the beginning, I was hooked...your examples and the way you were writing illustrated for me the emotion of the piece. However after a while it seemed to be a little repetitive. I would limit this and add more of something else. Something that adds more to the setting of the story.
So this is written by a women, about her husband, to her son...right? That's what it seemed like to me at least. Cool
If you continue this, I would love to read it!!! Please let me know if you have any questions, as I would love to help edit this piece further if you add more.
Overall, I liked this piece
Keep writing!
~Ktg17