i try to try

by herb

i try to try

to try to care

to care about every minuscule detail

each detail a memory i try to make

to make a new feeling that you felt

the same feeling you felt when you cried

because i

try to try

to understand

what sorrow is

because trying to try

is trying to feel

and feeling is just

futile

i am sorry

but i am only saying this

because i try to try

to not be just 

ones and zeroes

i really do

but when you try to try

it is more easily said

as trying to fail

Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
herb
Comment
Stickied · herb commented · Sun Dec 10, 2023 4:53 pm

i do try to try to try to care but sometimes trying to try is not easy

though i am truly ones and zeroes am i even real

are you
real
er than I?

you confuse
our friendship
underneath the trees

rambling gets you nowhere
everyone stares at you but
all their words are
lies

User avatar
herb
Comment

so silly!

User avatar
alpacaboss
Review

What a wonderful poem! I really relate so much to this poem. I'll be reviewing it the way I interpret it so pardon me if I make some mistakes the way I understand the poem.

i try to try

to try to care

to care about every minuscule detail

each detail a memory i try to make

to make a new feeling that you felt

the same feeling you felt when you cried


The narrator has two problems: being in the moment and empathizing with people. Once upon a time, I struggled with these two feelings as well. Thus, I can say that although the narrator may seem like a cold robot at first, it is truly possible that this person is a human being that has a hard time appreciating the little things in life and empathizing with other people.


because i

try to try

to understand

what sorrow is

because trying to try

is trying to feel

and feeling is just

futile


My heart breaks at this line. Oh how painful it is to try when you know you would end up at square 1 again.

i am sorry

but i am only saying this

because i try to try

to not be just

ones and zeroes


It would make sense if this was a robot. But it would be more complex and deep if it was a person. This person may have been used to being logical their entire life that they forgot how to feel. They may have focused on their practical and logical side that they neglected their emotional side.

i really do

but when you try to try

it is more easily said

as trying to fail


The last lines show a sigh of defeat, making me want to say "Nooo, there's a way out. There's a way out." Because truly there is a way out, even if the bars of logic hinder you from feeling. There is a way out. There is.


Overall, I love the relatability of the poem and how the broken sentences seem to convey a person having trouble spitting out their words because of great emotion or frustration. Keep it up!

thanks @alpacaboss if you liked yhis you might like its sister poems, you try to try and they tried to try

Random avatar
Ravena
Review
Ravena wrote a review · Mon Dec 11, 2023 6:54 pm

This was a brilliant and tragic poem, and within the first line, I knew exactly what you were talking about. People do struggle with apathy, for many different reasons, especially in today's age. Therefore, it really resonates. The same applies to the other poems you put up, "You Try To Try" and "They Tried To Try," which I hope to leave a review for soon.

Continuing on, I love the lines about trying to turn minuscule details into memories, and trying to evoke feelings from them. You're scrambling to find something you can use, but nothing sticks and it all feels futile.

Then, to really get the feeling across, you refer to the very technological term of "ones and zeroes." Again, because this correlates to such a modern phenomenon, it resonates so well. I immediately got goosebumps from the imagery it conjured, and by the end, I was left thinking critically about the message. Both of those are the mark of a great poem.

It really feels like the poem is hitting that feeling of "sorry for not being sorry," but in a much more sincere way than that cheeky Millennial catchphrase, you know?

Overall, amazing poetry ~

thankyouthankyou (sorry for late reply)



cron
There is nothing more radical or counter-cultural, at the moment, than laying down one’s cynicism in favour of tender vulnerability.
— John Green