what did i do to get here
is the thought that lingers
do i even deserve this
i look back, at the me's long gone
me age 3, finding who I was who was even me
me age 5, learning the world and trying to thrive
me age 7, wishing I was in heaven
me age 9, saying I was fine
me age 11, trying to drop a friend
and all the me's in between
wandering
aim
less
ly
through the mind
i look back at them and wonder
would they understand
where we are now
where i am
some days, i feel they'd be proud
others, i feel they'd look back with disgust
i look back at the me's in my mind
they'd be proud no matter what
as each year passes
a new me lingers
a new part of me
a new sensation
i miss them
but would i still be where i am
so i ask myself once more
what did i do to get here
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,776 Reviews
fun fact this is real life like the me age.... is real things that happened to me
Cupid here, I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Hi again Tea!! thought I'd go ahead and fly over a review, let's get to it!!
Top Graham Cracker: - First Impression!
When I first took a glace at your poem, I was immediately drawn in! you have such a reflective introspective tone that immediately had me hooked. The repetition of "me age" creates a sense of progression and growth throughout the piece. It's intriguing and got me curious to know more about the speaker's journey.
Toasted, Slightly Burned Marshmallow: - Room for Improvements!
I did notice that you said "mes" instead of "mess" I saw it twice throughout the poem, so I'm not sure if that was intentional or a typo? Another thing is, the structure of the poem could be a little more refined to improve the flow and pacing. Other then those few nit-picks you're all good!!
Melty Hershey's Chocolate: - Highlights of the Piece!
The strongest aspect of your poem lies in its introspection and self-reflection. The recurring theme of questioning and wondering about the different versions of oneself creates a true sense contemplation. The lines "some days, I feel they'd be proud, I feel they'd look back with disgust" evoke a large range of emotions for me and it really demonstrates the complexity of your/they're journey. The repetition of "I look" also adds a thoughtful and introspective quality to the poem.
Perfectly Toasted marshmallow: - Favorite lines!
- This line captures the essence of personal growth and evolution so well! And also the idea that we are constantly changing and becoming different versions of ourselves. I know I am
Bottom Graham cracker: - Closing thoughts!
Overall, this was a beautiful Poem you wrote. I loved all the emotions I felt as I read it, I swear you have to teach your writing ways Haha! Anyhow, keep writing Tea, I can't wait to read more!
Fly high Writer, Cupid.
thank you cupid <333 :3
it's supposed to be me's oops!
Hey, Tea! <3 Ley here to review this wonderful piece by you!
Firstly, let me just say, I love reading your poetry. I look forward to it whenever I go to review. :3
First impressions...
I feel like this was the perfect growing of age poem. It's relatable, and most people would resonate with this piece more than you think! I enjoyed the format as well.When I was reading this I felt...
Nostalgic, curious. When reading this, I reflected back on my own life. And wondered-- how did I get here? It also had a subtle sad theme to it, as if the narrator's acquaintances don't like the new version of them. Even though this can happen in life, a part of growing and evolving is maturing into the new you every once and a while. There's nothing wrong with that!My favorite line/quote is...
I have two favorites!I felt like the seperation of the word 'aimlessly' was smart! You were able to make the reader read it the way you wanted to, and that's the type of poetry I like! It takes skill for a writer to be able to initiate that in their work.
My second favorite is,
I liked these last two lines because you circled back around to the main purpose of the poem! It left me wondering-- who is the narrator talking to? Themselves, or someone else? And like I said earlier, it made me think back on my life and what I did to get here.
Some things I would change would be...
I would maybe add some punctuation at the end of the lines! It would look more aesthetically pleasing-- but if your intention was to only use commas, I completely get it! Poetry is all up to creative interpretation.Overall...
This was a wonderful read. I enjoyed the formatting, the informal punctuation, the emotion I felt. It was all in all a great poem! <3 I can't wait to read more of your work. Happy writing! ~With Love,
Leya
thanks for the review ley <3333
its supposed to be me's ehehehe oops
what did i do to get here
a question we all ask ourselves