Horror stories

Hello! This is a cool story. There is definitely some suspense playing out. But I do have a few suggestions about your story.

For one thing (or perhaps the only thing; I tend to say "for one thing" and then only have one thing to mention), and I'm sorry, but this story has so many grammatical mistakes that it makes it tedious to read. The grammatical mistakes take away from the suspense, from the scariness. It made it so that it was extremely difficult to read, and I couldn't really get into the story.

So let's tackle a few of those grammatical mistakes, shall we?

One: Please capitalize "I" when you are referring to yourself. I don't care if it's not at the start of a sentence. Always capitalize "I" when it's being used to describe yourself.

Two: You have too many spaces. I don't know if I can name them all. It would take decades. And then in some places you need to have a space and you don't. For example, at the beginning of some sentences you don't have a space.

Three: Capitalization!!!!! Please, please, please look up some capitalization rules! I wish we could talk face to face because it would be a lot easier to point out all of the capitalization errors.

Four: There are a few instances when you use exclamation points and you don't need to. Yes, I understand you are trying to convey emotion and suspense with that exclamation mark. But sometimes you can do that with just a simple period. You want the reader to feel emotion, not force it on them with exclamation points. If you want your reader to feel suspense or fright or dread, use diction. That is what will make them feel: diction, how you present your words, not an exclamation point.

Five: Spellcheck. That's all I'm gonna say.

Six: Apostrophes! There are a few instances that you need to work on those. For future (and present) reference, "it's" isn't possessive. It's a contraction for "it is." The word "its" is possessive. You mixed those up once.

Seven (whoa, really cranking these!): Quotation marks. First off, if you have a punctuation mark inside the quotation, then don't put an additional period outside of the quotation. Please. For all us grammatical fanatics out here, please. Secondly, at the beginning of each quotation you need a capital letter. The person is saying a sentence. And you capitalize the first word in a sentence. Thirdly, never replace a quotation mark with a simple apostrophe. You did that in one of your sentences. Don't. They are not the same.

Eight: The writing errors. There are few compared to grammatical issues, but there are still some. For instance, the sentence "But I experienced my most creepy night there at their place" is slightly wordy. You could probably just say "But I experienced my most creepy night at their place." Also, another sentence that might be changed is "So, all together i realised that it was nothing except a creepy nightmare." I don't get the "all together" in there. I think you could probably just delete that. Or maybe you actually do need it. If you do, maybe make it a bit more clear. One more sentence (that I'm reviewing here, not in total): "I had slept there more than once but this kind of feeling came never." If I were you, to have more flow, I would change this to "I had slept there ____ (add the rough number, or just say a million or something like that) times, but I had never experienced this feeling before."

I'm sorry. That was a lot. And I came off a little mean-sounding, I know. Please know I don't feel any malice towards you or your writing. I'm sorry if I'm a little blunt. I just want to help you as much as I can. If only we could videochat! Or if I could directly edit your piece.

I think this could be a cool piece. The story foundation is there. It just needs a face lift or two. Overall, keep writing, improving your technique, and I'm sure we'll get cool pieces like this one!

Hi @sulgana.
I know you wanted me to review your work. So here I am.
I think you have done a great job ...
I was glued to my chair and this story gave me chill in my spine.
There are some basic grammatical errors and punctuation errors.But do not worry!
You have written very well...
YOU WILL CERTAINLY BECOME MORE POLISHED AND REFINED BY THE NEXT FEW STORIES...
All the best for your future works...
keep writing..
FROM: BHAVYA

Hey sulagna. I'm here to review the most creepy story. I found 10mistake that I sugeest you fix.
Let swing in to review.

The introcduction was really good. But there are some punction and capitalization that needs to be fixed or changed.

1)In the few sentences the 'i',that repersense the person who is telling the story isn't capitalized. So I you should capitalize the 'i's.

2)I suggest you use commas rather than semi-column that makes the readers stop and wonder if it's right to put it there.

3)In some place you forgot to leave a space between each sentences, after a sentence is finished.
For example you did it here: "with alot of courage i pulled myself together and tried to get out of the bed.I sprang from my bed and straight away ran to my mom’s room."

4) You fogot to put a dialogue mark in the start of a speech at this part :On the way to the room i shouted ;’mom! Mom! There’s someone in my room !!!”

5)You misspelled a word "Usually" to "Usauly". In this part: Usualy I sleep alone in Martha’s room

6)You didn't put commas at certain places that need commas. Example 1: Usualy I sleep alone in Martha’s room. Which needs comma after "Usually". Example2 : usualy I sleep heavily but that night i was awakened by a noise in my room. Which has the same mistake.

7) You should indent each paragraph, so readers can easily know it's a starting of a new paragraph.

Seperate the words that is said in to a new paragraph.

9)You've misspelled the word "pervious" to"previos".

10)You misspelld the word "with alot", which need to be "with a lot" in the third last paragraph.

I love your prodigous story, even though it give me frost bites. Are you going to write more to the strory? Then, I would love to read more of your story.

Thank you.

Keep on writing!

>ChrisDixon