The next day has passed away,
A future at stake.
A battle was fought,
Tomorrow was a thought.
Yesterday, the chanting, destroy! Destroy!
Tomorrow accompanied it,
Today is void of joy
The dead understands it.
A future is here,
A future was here,
A future will be here,
Yet the end has come is all we hear.
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Canary word: Present
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140,230 Literary Works • 673,048 Reviews
Remington38 here for a review!
Wow. When I first read the title I was worried because time travel is very hard in my opinion to write or describe but I was happily surprised about what the poem was actually about. This was a really interesting read that I enjoyed every minute of. It was a nice touch to have some of it rhyme. This was really interesting definitely one that leave you thinking. I really enjoyed it and it's suspense and air of mystery. I would really like to see more like this!
thanks alot Remington
Hi! I am here to give you a review.
)
Wow this poem required a lot of thought. I love the deep meaning behind it, it is somewhat of a mind twister as its so powerful.
I'm first going to give u my thoughts on it and then ill tell you how you could have improved upon ( always the advice i give are in my opinion you don't need to change a thing if you disagree
So I really liked the way you started off, it immediately makes the reader think and try to grasp the fact that the persona is in the future but is thinking of the past and how the future actually comes by so fast.(thats what i got correct me if im wrong.)
However, as this poem is a bit hard to follow I suggest you follow a particular pattern.
In the second stanza you went from future to past to past future then in the third stanza you did past, future, present and the last line "The dead understands it." didnt really fit, or at least i didnt get its relevance to the poem (pls enlighten me if you can) SO back to my point, if you are trying to show sequence of time follow it in all stanzas, for example go from past present to future, just to make it easier for the reader to grasp.
I like it overall and would love to see more poems such as this!
~RS
thanks alot i really appreciate the review, i'll work on the corrections where necessary..