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Autumn Rain

by spottedpebble


Skittering rain
The tips of dew drop
Fairy wands
Sprinkling them down

Raindrops
Fall
From the
Green tree's
Leaves

Hear the tinkling
Sound from
Water dripping
Off the roof-
Tops and
The gutters

The soft grass
Flourishes,
The orange
Leaves
And autumn
Breeze
Flow with
Go with
Rain's light fingers
Sprinkling
Life
Down


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Mon Oct 07, 2024 11:45 pm
EllieMae wrote a review...



Time for a Black Cat Review!!



MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:

Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret

Right from the start, I really liked the mood of this poem. It feels very simple to me, but in a powerful way. For example, I really liked the layout you use at this part:

Raindrops
Fall
From the
Green tree's
Leaves


To me, the 'falling' layout has this mood that mimics... well.. exactly what the poem says! I like the image that I am able to see in my head, picturing this scene of rain falling from a green tree. I think this is a perfect time to post this type of poem since it is beginning to turn to fall in a lot of places right now, so there is a lot more rain and wind, guiding the leaves as they fall. You even mention later in the poem the "autumn breeze", going along with "the rains light fingers", which gave it an even prettier picture in my head.

Overall, my impression of this poem was a very nice and simple poem about seasons changing. I felt like I could see and feel how it is for me when I go outside on a walk through the forest :) lovely work!

Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement

The theme feels a bit separated from an individual or emotions. I'd love to hear some more personal thoughts- perhaps why these things are important or how the relate to memories, what do they make you feel? Overall though, I really enjoyed reading through it!

Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises

You did a great job at keeping in simple and quick paced. My favorite line was:

Hear the tinkling
Sound from
Water dripping
Off the roof-
Tops and
The gutters


I love how you apply so many sensory details throughout the entire thing. We dont just focus on feelings or descriptions, but we go deeper into what we can hear, being attached to more sensory aspects- fantastic work!

Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts

Fantastic poem and I am eager to read more soon!

Your friend,
Ellie

I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!



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Sun Oct 06, 2024 4:55 pm
5670 says...



I love that poem
That you wrote
It is one of my favorites




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4431 Reviews

Points: 317314
Reviews: 4431

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Thu Oct 03, 2024 6:15 am
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kaitlyn wrote a review...



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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!


Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

Skittering rain
The tips of dew drop
Fairy wands
Sprinkling them down


OOoh this is a beautiful little start here. It really dives in with some amazing imagery there, and there's something very magical about dew drops and naturally the words fairy wands. It makes this seem like a downpour of genuinely magical proportions and really enriches this with a powerful sense of wonder.

Raindrops
Fall
From the
Green tree's
Leaves


This one I feel doesn't quite live up to the wonder of the first paragraph, it feels a little bit more drab and drier if that makes sense. I don't know if that's maybe intentional, showing two sides of the same rain but if it isn't I think a little rephrasing would be good around here.

Hear the tinkling
Sound from
Water dripping
Off the roof-
Tops and
The gutters

The soft grass
Flourishes,
The orange
Leaves
And autumn
Breeze
Flow with
Go with
Rain's light fingers
Sprinkling
Life
Down


Hmm this is an interesting ending. Once again roof gutters really brings the vibe down into this more grounded realistic feel as opposed to a more magical theme but at the same time I think the ending brings it up again. It makes for quite the little rollercoaster there but ultimately a beautiful little message of the journey a simple rainstorm can take.

Overall, I think it has some beautiful imagery and it does well to conjure some pretty powerful images here about the power of the rain. There's just the one question I have about the tone, otherwise this works wonderfully!

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate




spottedpebble says...


Thanks for the review and the advice about the tone! I'll keep that in mind.

(also I love the style of your review and all the colors)




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