**Just me being silly**
“Don’t leave me” seems to be the worst thing to say right now.
How can I hold you back, when I love you so?
I know that you belong elsewhere, but let me be selfish because I want all of you.
We don’t fit together, and I see that clearly, along with everyone else,
And yet, all I seem to think about is you.
It’s a simple peel across the top.
The first time I ever locked eyes with you I didn’t even get a chance to notice,
The simple two words on the top left hand corner that say, “tear here”
I fought you open with my own strength and knew we would be together forever.
You saw me through my worst breakups and my heartache.
The finale of Grey’s Anatomy and my hunger needs when I can’t build up the strength to bake.
I have never let you go stale and I have done my best to never allow a single piece of you to fall.
It would break my heart to see ants crawl over you.
And how do you repay me, you make me look like a whale!
Thirty three point two five calories is more than I can afford.
I can finish a single family pack size bag of you
And you let me take in six and a half pounds of carbs per piece.
No matter how delicious you may be, we can no longer be together.
You do not belong in my stomach and our memories are becoming a distant blur.
So my dear twizzler, I must go run my third mile for the day.
There’s no better way to say this, so let me state how you committed foul play.
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137,488 Literary Works • 672,036 Reviews
Ha! This is great! I was all ready to be sad about a breakup then I kept reading and realized it was about a Twizzler. That's fantastic- very original and creative. Made me laugh. Thanks
Three miles a day? Uggh. I think if you broke it into smaller lines, it would have better flow. I agree with paperback that at first it seems so serious, but then it's a joke. And I like that. Keep up the good work. In the last line, it says "how", but I feel it should be "that" instead. Although, this type of thing has been done before, you put it into a new light by making it so serious at the beginning. Thoroughly enjoyable. Keep it up!
-tgirly
i agree with the first comment..at first i thought this was a parting between two lovers, it was entertaining though.
This is a very entertaining poem. At first I thought it was serious, then I thought it was about a bag of chips, and finally after I read the last line, I laughed because I was wrong about everything. It'd figure though, since they're soooo addicting.
Enough about my like for them, and to your poem. While it's entertaining, the rhythm is off. In fact, sometimes the lines are way too long. I'd work on that. Also "twizzler" should be capitalized.
It was very enjoyable and fun to read. Keep writing more!
-Nana