Its not exactly finished--so please just take a shot at it ;D
-Thanks
When I look back I see your laugh
When I hear your steps, it’s as if I never left
I seem to realize that all along it wasn’t fair
I can’t change our past or the feeling,
The feeling of something there
So this time, however long that may be
I’ll stand here waiting to see
You push them out of your life
Like you did so many times to me
It’s my turn, forget that I earned the right to want you here
You want me so why can’t we seem to agree
Why can’t you just leave?
Why can’t you except that something’s in between?
But I’m still standing here saying
How I feel about you today through always
We say things we never mean
And we are good at falling back into a routine
It just so happens that I am changing the dominos
Rearranging, please stop falling
And understand
I’m being honest
I could take a book and metaphorically
Speak the words that represent all the should of’s and ought to be’s
I could draw the first thing that comes to mind
When I think of you and all the times we wouldn’t change
But I
I think of that crooked smile—honest denial
Or that one way you can look at me
We can speak two inches apart
And when we connect I somehow, undeniably feel something in between
Standing between us again
Why can’t you just see?
How I feel about you today through always
No matter what’s between
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139,448 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
Wow I loved this poem! I thought it was so beautiful yet so simple and breath taking! I felt there were parts where there was few punctuation but the content of the poem and the way you wrote it to be so easily uderstood made it amazing without much punctuation! I don't have anything bad to say at all I simply loved this.
Peace,
Snickerdooly
I really like this poem and I could relate. I thought some parts of the poem didnt quite flow though. So thats the only thing I really think you should work on. Other than that good job.
Hey! Thank you so much for the reviews! I honestly opened this piece up, thinking, hm...this seems intersting. I forgot that i had even wrote it--so i posted it. Now, i cant stop working on it, so please re-read it once i post my new changes.
Thanks again guys!
SnowBerry
I can see where you are coming from by this poem. I feel a few spots could use some reworking, but other than that a very good job indeed. I look forward to more of your writing.
i love this part but i am not sure about "dominos"! you should reevaluate it....
Keep UP, can't wait for more
This is so pretty, I can really relate too it. I liked the way you worded things because it gave the poem a specific mood.