She is a beautiful girl
with long, blonde hair
and ribbon-adorned braids.
Her favorite food is sugar cube
and her eyes are an ice blue.
It is no wonder that Mollie piques herself
with her appearance.
Who wouldn't when you look like her?
However, like all humans, Mollie has flaws.
She is for one, dumb as rocks, but her worst
quality is that she is vain.
Not like the peacock who is not ashamed of such a quality,
showing off its multi-colored feathers
to anyone one who has eyes.
No, but like the chimpanzee.
Willing to do whatever it takes to gain,
but when others are struggling,
they turn the other way.
Mollie is my sister
and while she is now beautiful,
she has unfortunately inherited
my mother's ailment.
Her spine is already disintegrating
and soon, she will become a blob.
She turns her eye to this and
soon, her dreams will come true.
She will have a husband that will also
suck the very soul out of her
and hold his chin high because
he believes himself to be God.
Mollie believes this dream to be so important
that she has attempted to sacrifice me to the wolves
just to have it realized sooner.
She wants me to do like her and our mother
and get married while turning a blind eye
to the chains our father has put on us.
For this, I cannot love her.
As much as I have tried to pull her away from this cruel fate,
she insists on jumping in the fire
and attempts to pull me down with her.
She has betrayed me, but worst of all,
she has betrayed herself.
Mollie and her children are ultimately doomed
to ride the loop de loop and never be able to get off.
Even when they turn green and are covered in vomit
as long as the stone man is in charge, it will go on
forever and ever and ever and ever.
What a happily ever after, hm?
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138,932 Literary Works • 672,408 Reviews
Hello Redhood! My second time reviewing your work ^^
I'm sure it is a sequel or mostly related to your previous work "The stone man and the woman blob".
This here gives more context on the cycle I believe. Your previous work showed the current point, and now this zooms out on the loop and shows how hard it is to get out of the cycle while everyone tries to hold you down.
Mollie is someone who was conditioned I believe. She has seen her mother and probably glorifies that type of life, making her want to live up to that life. Siblings don't grow up to have the same personality even though they might grow up in the same environment.
I liked your work very much. I'm even more glad that you decided make a sequel to your previous poem. Great work! I hope to give enough willpower to anyone in these situations to break free. I hope you to see your work in future :]
Take care <3
Thank you, BrownMatter! I really appreciate the review. What you interpreted is definitely what I was going for. This is a poem that is under "The Reborn Dragon" portfolio, so I try to keep them all connected somehow lol.
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Hey, redhood! This is Alex & I'll be reviewing this poem today. So here it goes.
To start things off, I really like the idea of the title. It's a simple name, not revealing anything further. It inevitably invokes a curiosity in the reader- who is this person and what story does she have to tell? To add, I was certainly not expecting it to have a reference of your other work- 'The Stone Man & The Blob Woman'. I think you should include this message in the description of as a stickied comment so that the reader can read that poem first, to understand this one better. But as I've read that poem already, I'm fit to review this straight away.
Let's add some spice to my usual review style. Let's view the poetry as the moon. Why? You'll soon see -
The beauty (the perfections of Mollie):
You paint a vivid description of the character, I could imagine her being made in front of my eyes. Long braided hair adorned with ribbons and ice blue eyes- typical beauty standards being used to depict Mollie. I also specifically loved the mention of her love for ice cubes. Shows that at the of the day, she's just a kid with childish likes.
The spots (the imperfections):
Mollie is humanised by saying that she isn't all rainbows and no storm. We get to know of her dumbness, that later comes into play. Also, we see her beauty get to her head as she brims with pride over it. The metaphors of peacock and chimpanzee looked amusing, but I must admit I found a little confusing. Like I couldn't actually comprehend what you were trying to say.
Facing the Earth (Reflecting and an extension of the other poem and its story- The Stone Man & The Woman Blob):
This poem felt almost like a bonus chapter or second season of the poetry. It came as a total surprise to me, but certainly a pleasant one! I love how we see Mollie as a shadow of her mother, destined to walk in her footsteps. While the narrator ending up as his father was still a bet that could go either way, his sister's tendencies and choices are much more leaning and thus, somewhat set in stone.
I'm a huge fan of the way you introduced us to the similarity between the mother and daughter! We see her naive nature, chasing after the romantic notion of marriage and a loving husband. To be a wife is her dream, oblivious of the reality of it behind closed doors. We see her even persuading the narrator towards the idea of marriage, despite the fact that he's not interested whatsoever. She insists on this fate, and noone succeeds in convincing her otherwise. What I found really fascinating is how the narrator hates his sister for betraying herself over betraying him. She isn't looking out for her future or mental, as she insists on pining after this abstract concept of a perfect marriage and partner. This descision not only affects her, but her future kids- a brutal truth that much more painful to imagine. Her husband will be no different than their father, a man with a superiority complex and draining personality.
In contrast to The Stone Man and The Woman Blob, the narrative is presented in a different manner. While the story it presented was much more diverse describing three new characters, this poem talks about only one. I found the messy structure of the former poem a symbolism of a chaotic household. Here though, I can't help but wonder if some structure would have helped the poem deliver a little more impact. Maybe use three stanzas corresponding to how I've divided my review. The part where you describe beauty flaws should be in one stanza while her standing in her family is described in the next. Just a random thought you could work on if you wish. While it's a great work, I think it could have had a little more impact if it would've been reined with control. Otherwise, an awesome poem!
Hey, Alex! Thanks so much for the feedback. I could probably have organized this better, I agree. I had a period where I was just spitting out poems, so I'm not too surprised that I ended up publishing some messy ones! I will most likely rewrite this at some point, hopefully soon! It was nice seeing you, Alex!