Young Writers Society

Huzzah! You have written a poem without death, fear, or deppresion!
The line breaks are perfect, and, in conjunction with the punctuation they make the poem flow through the reader' mind like honey!
I kinda took a step back at the line "To gaze up at a twinkling sky." because it sounds like you are describing the night sky! (you know, twinkling stars and such...) And, as any fool know, flowers don't open their petals in the night. Perhaps a different adjective? (and preferably old fashoned and adventurous! not like my reviews- I can't spell good ones as well....)
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!

Flowers are beautiful creatures!
The poem flowed together beautifully!
The Funny, surprise ending probably made everybody laugh!
This poem was so simple, like a flower!
This poem had many flower characteristics, beautiful, simple, and they make people smile! Well done!

Hello racket!!!
I'm hanorah and I'll be reviewing your poem during the Christmas in July!!
I don't think I can find anything to critise!!! xD
It was a brilliant poem, it was capitalised, it flowed quite well and it was so simple and you didnt over-complicate things it was soo good!
Well done!
~keep writing

I love these kind of poems. You did a very good job. The first stanza and last are by far my favorite. The ending was kind of a surprise, but it makes the poem much more fun.
I did not like this:
"None carry disease,
Too full of peace."
While the previous two lines fit together, these two don't mesh that well.
Overall, a nice poem. I enjoyed it.
Keep writing!

Hahaha... this poem is incredible. So beautiful it makes me appreciate nature. First of all, Welcome. Your poem is great. You should keep writing more! I like the way you describe the flowers. I also like the way you used a metaphor to say how the spray odor through the air.

Keep up the good work!

Hi racket! GriffinClaw, here to review your beautiful poem!

First off, I just want to say that it is very difficult to successfully pull off a nature poem. And you did! Since so many people write nature poems, it can be difficult to make yours original.

I really like the ending. I was expecting it to be a serious poem, but it had an awesome humourous twist at the end that made me laugh. Most people don't take into account the allergies flowers cause, especially in poetry! Loved that.

I do have a few comments that you may want to fix.
1) I don't know if this is just me, but I think the phrase;
"Too pretty to
Die."
is a little strange, just the way it is split up and how it doesn't quite flow with the rest of the stanza. You could probably omit it or replace it with another line.
2) I didn't like the stanza;
"None carry disease,
Too full of peace."
It seemed a bit random and didn't quite rhyme. The problem is that the word "peace," sounded good with the following stanza, "Flowers make me sneeze," because it rhymed. So completely omitting that line would be strange. Since you already used the word "too" previously, in:

"Too pretty to
Die."

you may want to find a different way to say "peace" for the rhyme.

I loved the phrases;

"Stars upon the ground.

Painting the breeze
With fragrance."

They are so beautiful and wonderfully written!

Continue writing and being awesome!

~GC

Hi racket! Welcome to Young Writer's Society! I'm Alliyah, here to review your work.

You did a great job using just a few words to create a lovely poem without making it wordy, or awkward sounding. The rhyming is very clever, I wouldn't have thought to rhyme "disease" with peace" I love that one! I also really like the the surprise ending: after you build up a beautiful flowers looking at the sky and filling the world with peace only to bring us back to the speaker and learn that they make you sneeze.

My only two suggestions/critiques are that I think you could do something more with the title, maybe incorporate the ending. It could be 'A Flower's Secrets' or 'What Lies Within a Flower' or something even more clever. Also I'm not sure that the word "Hope" meshes with it's stanza or flows well with the other lines, so maybe you could eliminate it.

Other than that, great job! No spelling mistakes that I could see. I hope to read more of your work in future, keep writing!

~alli-y~

I love the description here. Also it think you did a fantastic job at bring in a lot of emotion. It's hard to pack so much feeling into poems. I really like it, and I encourage you to continue writing! Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading another piece from you. As always, good luck to you and your writing.