“I have the most important part, and no one CARES!”
What am I?
I am the pillar that supports all.
What am I?
My part keeps all from falling away, I am the glue.
What am I?
I am so deep, so wonderful, so great, that the ear cannot hear my wonders,
The eyes cannot see my beauty.
What am I?
I am put at the back where no one can stare in awe at me.
What am I?
The smaller, higher, ‘prettier’ ones are out in the open, while I am hidden away.
What am I?
Their soft, little voices are too great, they overpower my own, deep clear tone.
What am I?
I am deep, and clear, low and masculine.
What am I?
They are high, and pretty, and feminine.
Put together, we are the perfect pair.
What am I?
If we fit perfectly, why do they take the shine, and leave me to the wings?
Tell me, what am I?
Fine, I will tell you what I am.
I am an upright bass.
Or more so, I am the
BASS LINE.
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140,266 Literary Works • 673,077 Reviews
Hello, I can completely relate to this poem, since I am also a musician, though not of the bass. I play the piano, and it's very true everything you've said about the bass line.
On to the review: I think this poem will flow a lot better if you take out the repeated line "what am I." Usually' riddle-like poems such as this are not broken up by that question. I also think the ending might work better if of settle on one answer rather than saying, "I am the upright bass, or more so, the bass line." I think 'the bass line' is suitable enough to cover the upright bass but also include all other bass instruments. Also, I feel like, because the poem is bout music, that it should have a more musical quality to the rhythm. Think of it as rap. Say your poem out loud as if you are rapping, and you'll be able to hear the parts that don't flow as well as others. Hope that helped even a little, and good luck:)
Thank you! Yes, I play the piano as well and this poem is based on a conversation my friend who has harmony with a viola and I had. We were both quite annoyed with our boring parts. XD Thank you for the input, and since both my review say the question should be less frequent, I may change that. Thank you for reviewing! Keep playing piano; it's a great instrument!
~Racket
Hey there it's me KissMe! And I'm going I give you a review, well this poem one!
Let's jump/swim/crawl/or sly in. What ever you please.
Ok so Keats start with punctuation, formatting, grammar, and spelling. Wonderful job on all of them, though I would say that stanzas looks a bit better. Though not all poems need it so yeah.. Next though would be the actually meaning and poem it's self. I just wanted to say that it really is a good poem, but the thing is that it doesn't seem all that nessisary to repeat 'what am I?' After each line. But that's just me and my opinion, so don't mind it. Te poem it's self like I said is amazing and great. The meaning great. Te only think that got me and the constant repeat of 'what am I?' That's the only think I would really fix on it. But yeah great job, thank you for postin this work it was a great read.
Keep writing and follow your dreams!!
~KissMe
Thanks! I will follow my dreams! *laughs* The emphasis on the "What am I?" was put there for a reason, so I don't think I'll change that, but thank you for reviewing and giving me your opinions!
~Racket