Smile.
Through the tears.
Through the lies.
Smile.
Through the fear.
Through the sighs.
Smile.
Through the hate.
Though it's fake.
Smile.
There are better days.
You want to scream.
You want to cry.
You want to give up.
You want to die.
Stop.
Let's keep moving.
You're stuck in the spiral
going down, down, down.
All you think about is
crashing to the ground.
Stop.
Let's keep moving.
There are lies in the world.
A fake girl with a pretty smile.
Your eyes are not fine.
You're screaming and no one hears.
Stop.
Let's keep moving.
There are always better days.
So let's stop and keep moving.
Forget today, let's stay alive.
A/N: Written for a friend, thought I'd share this.
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139,610 Literary Works • 672,625 Reviews
i like it but you use through to much. I know thats the point i just dont favor it.
Other than it is awesome!!!
Wow, this poem really hit home. It reads like prose with the dead in rhyming and set up of the whole piece. I seriously don't have any critique nit picks at all, no grammar mistakes, no flow issues, or word choice suggestions. The lay out is brilliant- reads so smoothly it's like a sonnet of sorts- like it could be so much longer and still be perfect. I'd suggest only this: share it with your friend. There's no telling the impact it could have. I've written pieces for people I'm close to and even though there's hesitation to share it- when I do- I feel relieved because it's true emotions and personal messages that as writers- come best out on paper. I hope this makes sense! I absolutely love your writing!!! Never ever stop!
I really love your intention to write a poem to a friend...
I also liked your idea of happiness...
The poem made me realize many things.
I don't care about giving any critiques this time because the piece really touched me.
Speechlessly,
Al
Thank you so much for sharing this; because one, I can totally relate to this poem, whatever your friend might be experiencing I think I might have the same feeling, and second, it's extremely beautiful. I couldn't find anything wrong with it. It's quite emotional and intense.