A/N: This is a four by four (four poems by four lines) and so it seemed like a waste to put them all seperately, so it is a four by four. Hah, read on.
1: My only nightmare
The night can kill
with its sly grin.
What's innocence?
I've forgotten again.
2: Heaven and Hell
With death's angel looking above
and life's demon looking below,
they find an opposing force:
happiness.
3: The Meaning
We meet and touch
And push and punch
And miss and kiss
But we won't say love.
4: Whatever you say
Momma, Momma
can you admit
that I'm just that bad
or am I suddenly not your kid?
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139,610 Literary Works • 672,620 Reviews
Hellouu, I'm Demoness and I've come to give you my opinion on your work!
D
I'll begin with saying.. GREAT WORK! I liked them all alot, not equally much though.
"With death's angel looking above
and life's demon looking below,
they find an opposing force:
happiness." - This was my favorite one, many of my own poems are based on the same theme, I LIKE IT!
The third one was really great too, you got a whole life story to feet in only a few rows - NICE NICE
The first one was good, didn't make me feel anything though as all the others did but stil, Quite GOOD
As for the last one... - Change the word kid to child or something else and it'll be unimprovable
Hope I could help or atleast said something that meant something
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
RHyming isn't your best skill, but it was still an enjoyable poem. I liked the structure (how you divided it into 4 lines and stanzas... Quite interesting poem.
The rhyming and weight themselves were a-bit off and shaky.
The emotion compensated for that.
some I liked less, but I loved the first, it was- in my opinion- the best one of them.
As I written above, I think you should work a-bit on the technical parts of poetry, if you'll do that, I assure you the conclusions will speak for themselves.
Keep writing.
You know, even though your meter was a bit off and the rhyming felt forced at times, I really enjoyed this. You took on a completely different style and you were very original with the way you presented it - there was a lot of powerful emotion hidden under subtle words and that felt like it was really appropriate for this particular piece. Keep writing, this was definitely worth reading and reviewing.