Bloody Queens and the Matriarch in General

by paperbackheart

Published May 18, 2011

In My serious poetry

Picture perfect.
Eyes so wide.
An earnest smile
that festers lies.
A snake, a shad,
A vine, a mask.
A doll-faced queen.
A masked fiend.
Piercing wind.
Twisted branch.
An "innocent" victim.
A "simple" child.

Spoiler! :
My favorite poem, mostly because I was crazy when I wrote this. So, I know exactly what it's about and I wanna see if you all know, or get it at least. And I have to say this so no one calls me crazy. I am perfectly sane now. Thank you and please give me your comments. NOT MEANT TO BE LITERAL!!!

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
freewritersavvy
Comment
freewritersavvy commented Comment · May 18, 2011

Hmmm.... I kind of like it!

~FW~

User avatar
retrodisco666
Review
retrodisco666 wrote a review Review · May 18, 2011

Hey,

First off, I don't get, so please tell me :L

Next I think length needs adding as i felt like i was just reading an oppening.

Next emotion; there is none. I think it needs a lot of emotion to appeal to people.

That would then give you a poem, then you could get more advice, but I think this is a solid start and could be pretty awesome.

Keep it up and PM me for anything at all.

~Retro Disco666



Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.
— "Hamlet," William Shakespeare