Picture perfect.
Eyes so wide.
An earnest smile
that festers lies.
A snake, a shad,
A vine, a mask.
A doll-faced queen.
A masked fiend.
Piercing wind.
Twisted branch.
An "innocent" victim.
A "simple" child.
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140,774 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
Hmmm.... I kind of like it!
~FW~
Hey,
First off, I don't get, so please tell me :L
Next I think length needs adding as i felt like i was just reading an oppening.
Next emotion; there is none. I think it needs a lot of emotion to appeal to people.
That would then give you a poem, then you could get more advice, but I think this is a solid start and could be pretty awesome.
Keep it up and PM me for anything at all.
~Retro Disco666