Weakness

I like it alot.................very good, Keep up the work i enjoyed the ending:D:D

This a nicely written piece. There are 3 things I look for in a poem: voice, poetic diction & imagery, tone &mood. So here we go!

Voice: I love the voice in this piece. Your voice in this piece shouted out 2 things which are- vulnerability and acceptance of fate. I hope this is what you intended cause this is what screams at the reader's face when reading the poem. This is good. Your voice was loud and clear.

Poetic diction & imagery: The poetic diction was quite self-explantory which made the imagery easy to visualise. This is good in a poem. Simplicity is the way to go!

Tone & mood: The poem had a hint of sadness, anger and bravery in it. But this is totally me. It was what I looked for and found personally in the poem. It could be different to anybody else. You might have felt the same way.

This is a good piece indeed! Your style is rare and distinct. Keep it up! Keep tending the flame in you! You'll need it.

mollycarraway wrote:I may not shed a tear
But beneath the surface
A river flows through my heart
And my soul is shards of glass
And they tear me apart.(i'm not a fan of how you used "and" to begin to consecutive sentences. Maybe "And my soul is shard of glass,
that tear me apart.. ? )

Fourteen years of time spent
Learning and teaching.
Fourteen too-short years,
All but long forgotten.

Am I crazy to think
That what might’ve been different
Would’ve been for the better?
And it’s crazy to think
Of one small moment
A life long gone
And lives forever changed.

And she who stood beside him
Nineteen years of bliss.
They shared a beautiful love.
Nineteen years of perfection.
How could she watch it(?)
Slip away so suddenly?
How did she do it?

Weakness.
That’s what it’s like.
It’s like a blow to the back of the knees.
And on my knees is where
I find myself.
“Please God, bring him back to me.”

But in the end
My plea is in vain.
And in it’s place
From my knees I find
Gratitude for what I was left with.

Though He(he. Not "He") tore away
A part of my soul,
He left room for the love
Of those who’d gone unnoticed.

And from the thousands in
The room that day
I felt that love, pure and innocent,
And it made me stronger,
My wounds and my weaknesses
Bound up and built up.

And I believe
That though I sometimes
Tell myself that things ought to
Have been different,
I love myself.
I love who I am and
I know that without my
Wounds I would be different.

Weakness.
That’s what it’s like.
It’s like a blow to the back of the knees.
And on my knees is where
I find myself.
“Please God, bring me to thee.”

Good job, overall. I specifically liked the ending. Keep it up.

Huff Puff - Thank you for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Hi
Firstly, WOW. This is absolutely beautiful!I especially enjoyed

And she who stood beside him
Nineteen years of bliss.

too-short