inferno

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My fingers are vibrant flames

that shoot sincerity one second, fire the next

and ignite with every caress.

You are warm until the heat begins

to eat at the skins and devour spirit,

while you try to find a way to reach out to me.

But none are immune to my fierce touch,

you throw water that vaproizes around me

and yet I keep stroking, then I keep burning.

But the bites heal, leaving scars that fade

and every time you cry harder and smile less

unil one day the fire digs too deep.

And chars your golden souls brown,

so you leave with your scalded heart

untreatable.

I want to sufficate my flames, or drench them dead,

to see you again with it profess how much

I destroyed you inside and out.

This pain is brighter that just my fire,

than my touch melting off your hope

layer by layer, turning to blue sparks and red coals.

It is always there, hiding behind the shadows of burns and scars,

a mess of emotinos smashed together

that tears me apart from within.

When it comes out, in searing agony and hate,

it grabs the reigns of my brain and

it yells and screams a wailing cry.

It crams into words into my head till

no other thought can fit, words that break

through the blindfold that covers my heart from seeing your burns.

It opens me up to the destruction I leave in my path

and the stabs of hate are thrusted into me,

in hopes to douse the arson it doesn't want me to inflict.

But it is too late and you are just a wisp of smoke,

slowly becoming whole again, and me stuck between

wanting you burn with me and wanting you to be unscathed.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
felistia
Review

Hi mintanchor, Felistia here with a review on your poem.

Firstly, happy review day.

Now on with the review. I love that the whole poem is structured around fire, if you get what I mean. The message in the poem is very strong and emotional and was well written due to the words you used. The poem flows really well and is a nice length to read. The visuals you gave me was absolutely beautiful like, flames, ignite and so one. Though if I had to nit-pick about the visuals it would be that you never said scarlet or crimson, so if I didn't know what fire looked like it would fall flat for me, so I definitely recommend that you insert words that describe colour.

And that is all. I loved the poem and it was a lovely read. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.

Thanks for the review :) I really appreciate the critism! Have a great day/night too :)

User avatar
AceOfPayds
Review

Great poem, mintanchor! I completely adored how you kept the theme of the poem on fire the entire time. I was captivated by your choice of words, your imagery, and the theme of your poem. Although I found some mistakes along the way (grammar mistakes), I would like to review the things I liked in your poem.

Firstly, the beginning of your poem was amazing and I was immediately interested. When you said, "My fingers are vibrant flames..." I could get a visual. I understood what you meant as well; sometimes you scorch the ones you love, but sometimes you give them warmth. I can completely sympathize, because I, too, have the same effect on people.

Word choice is always vital to a good and fluent poem, and your's was definitely on point. Some were obvious, like "flames, ignite, burn." But among these obvious ones, the words "agony, hate, arson" completely suckerpunched me, emotionally. I was winded by your expression and use of these words. These words definitely impacted the theme.

The theme was a great choice. Flames can be associated with a handful of ideas. I was in love with the way you used your hands as a fire, let alone your heart as a conflagration. Great choice in theme!

Great poem all the way! I would love to hear more from you!

P.S. If you need a friend, someone who's immune, there's always someone out there. Someone who can quench your flames.

-Payds :P

Thanks so much for the in-depth review and awesome study of my poem :)I really appreciate your comments!

User avatar
Anthropophobic Comment

This is really good! I like how it flows and the structure too. It looks appealing to the eye. Good job!



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