I am told to take two (2) aspirin.
I got that from an English class.
My head pounds
as I dissect two (2).
Three (3) letters.
One (1) vowel.
If written just the right way
it resembles a cursive Q which is the
seventeenth (17th) letter of the alphabet.
And
what does aspirin speak of?
Aspirin pills?
Aspirin bottles?
The trees aspirin comes from?
I rest my head against the table.
My eyes close.
Sleep is simple.
It takes no thought.
I sleep.
Tomorrow I will understand
two (2) aspirin.
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Hello Tuesday here for a review. I like to begin that I could relate to this poem. I get headaches from everything (even school) and the lines, how short they are, seemed to be what people say when they have a headache or something. I enjoyed the parentheses with the numbers, also.
This seems confusing. Mostly worded awkwardly because tree aspirins sound like a band or something. I would suggest maybe changing it to aspirin tree since it seems to follow at what you are saying in this poem.There are a few things I like to point out in this poem.
This chuck of this poem seems a little off for me. It doesn't make sense to me although if I read it over again, it seems to make sense... when read again. I would suggest something, though and you don't have to take it into consideration. But maybe remove the "17th" because it is a simple number and if you leave it worded, it causes effect almost or something.
I enjoyed this stanza of this poem. Seems to bring the whole poem into a circle almost. i just want to suggest one thing: Sleep is simple could be changed to Sleep seems simple . You don't have to do anything with it but it is a suggestion.
Overall, I would relate and this poem is quite good. Enjoyed the thoughts that were in here and hope to review more of your work.
Farewell,
Tuesday
Hey there! I'm finally here for the Big Review.
First off, I can really relate to this poem. I get really bad migraines sometimes, and when I do, I can't think at all. It's like my brain just shuts down. I also liked the trick with the numbers in parentheses.
I also liked the shortness and simplicity of most of the lines - it reminds me of the way I think when I have a headache.
That said, there were a few parts that were confusing.
I will be honest with you - I first read this poem two days ago. I only got around to reviewing it today. And I didn't understand that you were referring to the word "two" until I read it just now, for the third or fourth time. Perhaps you could add an "It has" in front of "three" - I think that would help.
The other thing I would recommend is taking out "(17th)." Since it's not a plain number, it looks out of place and feels unnecessary.
I didn't know aspirin came from trees... This line is also worded rather awkwardly. Perhaps you could just say "Aspirin trees?" to follow the pattern of the other lines.
Though I like how short most of the lines are, the single "and" just doesn't work for me. It's just too cut off. I think if you put ellipses after it, it wouldn't look so odd. That way it would still convey the narrator's difficulty thinking.
Your last stanza is my favorite. I don't have any suggestions there. Simple and sweet, with a good ending.
Thanks for a good read, and I hope this review will prove useful.
Hey megsug!
You know I love you. For me this poem is kind of a mind bend. I really love this line: "I got that from an English class."
My main reason for loving it is because you have a great mystery right at the beginning of the poem that really draws me in. Are you talking about two(2) or that you got the aspirin from English Class? Either could be true. Both could be true really. I really love how it's not clear and it doesn't even matter which you got from where. The facts are still the facts.
For me this is just one of the strong parts about this poem.
But let's look at what didn't look so well for a minute. Having such short lines kind of draws away from the poem for me. "And" in particular feels really lonely and it doesn't work too well because we're already transitioning to another stanza, and we're getting the break between ideas with little transition, just "And" which is bumped out like a sore thumb. I'd suggest putting it down with "what" and if you wanted to throw things off a bit, perhaps put "Speak of" on it's own line. This might be completely off base, but that's my thought.
Also some of these lines are really full for someone with a headache. "Seventeenth (17th) letter of the alphabet" is super full because not only is 17th hard to get your mouth around, but it's a unique number in a lot more than just letter of the alphabet [17 syllables in a haiku for example], so I'd suggest breaking this line up. We have other letters of the alphabet in this stanza as well [Q] so putting "letter of the alphabet" on it's own will round things out to more of a "this is what this could be" ["two" is just a composition of letters of the alphabet] and give us a new way to look at things.
I never knew aspirin came from trees? This doesn't really seem that important to the poem though so I'm not going to look at it much.
I love the last stanza.
Reading it the first time I found the same thing some of your other reviewers have said, it was kind of hard to read One and then (1) in the poem but on the second reading when I know what you're trying to accomplish, writing like the bottle does, I like it and I wouldn't change it. That leaves me with suggesting you play with stanzas.
Hi, GreenTulip here to give you a review for Poetry Exchange.
So I noticed, as have the one's before me have, that you do this>>
I have a headache..
(By...blah blah. [No disrespect, but it's late and I don't know our name])
And am told to take two (2) aspirin.
Never work from the title of the poem into your first line of the piece. It will not put the start of the poem off solidly, as the reader has to think about where all of this comes from. The title only helps explain it.
One thing, that I think, detracts from the poem is the number (#) format. We already know the number, why put it in simple terms right beside it. It's like your telling your readers what the number is, just in case. I feel like it lessens the amount of intelligence that you think a reader may have. It may be written like that in some ways, but to do it in a poem, it detracts meanin'.
This is all I have to say.
Thanks. I appreciate this review! However, I'm going to leave this link here. Check it out if you wish.
And the name is Meg's
Messenger here to review for you!
Uh. . . . I have to say I am a little confused. The very first line runs straight from the title, but I feel like if you have the title as the first line it would really help flow. I had to stop instantly to figure out what it meant. Then there are the numbers which I don't get. The rest of the poem is like rambling which I smiled at. I am guessing it is like what id going through your head as you have the headache. I just feel like the numbers need to be explained and the stanza lengths cleared it. It felt a little dysfunctional to me. Overall I did like the funny side of the poem. Don't get me wrong I thought it was good.
Hope this helps, as short as it is.
Keep it up!
Hey Messenger,
If you've ever looked at a pill bottle the numbers will often look like they do in this poem. Thanks for the review!
I very much enjoyed this poem, though it was quite confusing for me. I understand that it's meant to be confusing as you're trying to capture the dysfunctional feeling of a headache. However, I think that you could, to be more clear, in the first stanza, make the second "two" bold. Going into that section, I didn't know what you were talking about until carefully analyzing the line before. I also think that you should start a new stanza with "My head pounds..." Finally, the second line didn't make much sense to me. Did you get the aspirin from English class, or did you get the advisory to only take two, or did you get the headache from English class?
Very nice. Good job!
Thank you!
I've been playing around with allusions recently. I couldn't find a link anywhere, but the poem is called "Aspirin" by C.H. Knoblauch.