Sweet Child;
How innocent you look.
Tose pure blue eyes,
Make the sea drown in jealousy,
The stars bellow in envy,
The sun rage with resent.
***
Sweet Child,
The world bounces off your shoulders as your frolic through the fields.
Worries are non existing,
Sad is not a word,
Only light,
And pure joy.
***
Sweet child,
How nieve must you be!
Don’t you know this world isn't meant for kids who can’t see,
You are all alone,
Nobody could care less,
You will not make it on joy, it's the darkness you must see
***
Sweet Child,
Take a look around.
The trees are not like your drawings
The flowers do not dance in glee
Take a look as the clouds you once admired, slowly fade away
Are you now starting to see?
***
Take a look around Sweet Child,
Do you see the clouds of cotton candy,
Or do you see the kids who don't have meals to eat?
Do you see the fields of vibrant grasses and wonderous flowers,
Or do you see the veterans who don't have a place to sleep?
Sweet Child, how lucky you have been.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Hi, Megan!
Ellie here to give you a quick review. I liked the idea of this poem, and I definitely think that some of your imagery here is really good. I interpreted this as being about a child who is privileged that they're blind to the suffering of others, which I think is a really strong idea to center a poem around and it's certainly effective here.
I thought it was interesting that you describe the child as being alone. There's the saying that it's lonely at the top that comes to mind, but I would have liked to have seen more expansion on that idea.
Nitpicks --
I was a little confused by what this line meant here.
In my own opinion, this would be more effective if it was posed as a statement rather than a question. "You only see your green grasses so you cannot see the suffering around you."
Thank you for sharing your poem! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.
Thanks for sharing this poem about a child’s view of the world which doesn’t conform to reality and how the speaker encourages the child that it must.
I like the hyperbolic imagery used of sun and sea. How his drawings don’t conform to reality. I like the dramatic way it is organized into a questioning of a child and how the child’s innocence is conveyed via his drawings and his frolicking unconcerned.
As I read I couldn’t help but wonder why the speaker cannot accept that the child’s viewpoint is simply a child’s viewpoint. I wondered whether this particular child was under such circumstances that he is supposed to see these things because of constant exposure to them. After all, some children have the misfortune of experiencing extremely traumatic events and having their naivete stripped from them by force.
Such was the case of Jewish children who had to face the reality of Hitler’s holocaust and its brutal pogrom of extermination. Such children were exposed to hunger, pain and death and would not be expected to display the naive attitude that the child in the poem is described as having.
In contrast, children who live sheltered lives can be expected to view reality as if it were the color of roses. The child who later became known as the Buddha was a prince who was sheltered in that way. Some live their entire lives in a sort of fantasy where money buys them everything and they lack virtually nothing.
But generally speaking, the ugly side of life does gradually wear away childhood innocence until the child sooner or later realizes exactly what the poem is saying-that this is a dog-eat-dog world and that the sooner we realize it the better.
Suggestions
Do you see the fields of vibrant grasses and [wondrous] flowers[?]
[Those] pure blue eyes....
as [you] frolic....
How [naive] must you be!
The trees are not like your drawings[.]
The flowers do not dance in glee[.]
Take a look as the clouds you once admired, slowly fade away[.]
Do you see the clouds of cotton candy[?]
Looking forward to reading more of your work.